Pen in Hand

Moving forward...

2011-07-12T21:46:00.002-05:00

I would like to announce the transferal of my blog to tumblr.

You can now find my microblog, "Vague Recollections of a Future Life" here: http://vaguerecollectionsofafuturelife.tumblr.com/

It's easier for me to blog more often with tumblr. Sorry for the inconvenience, but I hope you enjoy it and look forward to seeing you all on it.

Ever,

Changing us, Calling us...

2011-05-26T21:55:00.002-05:00

Music has always been a major force for me. Both in life situations, worship, and in God pouring out His word over me. I thought I'd share a few songs that have really impacted me recently in massive ways. Please please please listen to the lyrics. Actually watching the video isn't necessary, but listen to what they say. I know, I know. It's like 15 minutes. But if you're reading my blog, I think you can spare 15 minutes with this in the back ground. ;) Even if you're just checking emails. :P

First song: Tear Down the Walls by Hillsong United

The first time I heard this song, it was being sung by the excellent Jeff Henry (middle school minister at my church) during our "back to school bash". They had heard it at youth camp over the summer and as I heard 300+ students screaming out these lyrics, it floored me and never left me the same. I love this song and every time I hear it I just want to get up and scream it. :) And yes, a little dancing in front of the mirror while lip-syncing to it has occurred. :P Song and lyrics. Sing along with me. Possibly even in front of a mirror. ;)

Tear down the walls see the world

Is there something we have missed

Turn from ourselves

Look beyond

There is so much more than this

And I don't need to see it to believe it

I dont need to see it to believe it

Cause I cant shake this

Fire deep inside my heart

Look to the skies hope arise

See His majesty revealed

More than this life there is love

There is hope and this is real

Cause I dont need to see it to believe it

I dont need to see it to believe it

Cause I cant shake this fire burning

Deep inside my heart

This life is Yours and hope is rising

As Your glory floods our hearts

Let love tear down these walls

That all creation would

Come back to You

Its all for You

Your Name is glorious

Glorious

Your love is changing us

Calling us

To worship in spirit and in truth

As all creation returns to You

Oh for all the sons and daughters

Who are walking in the darkness

You are calling us to lead them back to You

We will see Your spirit rising

As the lost come out of hiding

Every heart will see this hope we have in You

*************

Second song: Burn for You by Fee

This second one has really inspired me recently and made me beg the question, "Am I just singing this? Or do I really, REALLY mean it? And if I do, how will that look in my life?" More about this in the future, hopefully, but in the meantime, enjoy the song. And ask yourself the same thing I asked myself.

There's a stirring in my heart

Unexplainable

There's a calling on my days

Undeniable, yeah

And there's a fire in my bones

Uncontainable

And it's causing me to burn

It's causing me to burn

For you

I'll go anywhere
I'll do anything
At any cost for you
My King

There's a passion in my heart

For the world to see

Revival fires burn

A great awakening

And there's a raging fire inside

This soul of mine

And it's causing me to burn

It's causing me to burn

For you, yeah

Oh, burn for you

Yeah, burn for you

To the ends of the earth
To the ends of the earth
To the farthest part
Til every heart has heard

To the ends of the earth

To the farthest part

Til every heart has heard

There's a stirring in my heart

Unexplainable

And there's a calling on my days

Undeniable

And there's a fire in my bones

Uncontainable

And it's causing me to burn

It's causing me to burn

For you

Burn for you

Yeah, burn for you

Oh, burn

Burn for you

Yeah, burn

Burn for you

To the ends of the earth

**********

Third song: Arms Wide Open by Hillsong (again)

I first heard this song from my sister. She's always nagging me to listen to some song or another, but for some reason I relented and listened to it. I'm so glad I did. We played it on repeat for about three hours as we reviewed Greek and Latin nouns. It's now one of my most favorite songs in the world and I love the part they all scream out. And to mean it! Do we mean it? And yet again what does that look like in our lives if we TRULY live that way?

Take my life I lay it down

At the cross where I am found

All I have I give to You oh God

Take my hands and make them clean

Keep my heart in purity

That I may walk in all You have for me

Oh here I stand

Arms open wide

Oh I am Yours

And You are mine

Take my moments and my days

Let each breath that I take

Be ever only for You oh God

Oh here I stand

Arms open wide

Oh I am Yours

And You are mine

My whole life is Yours

I give it all

Surrendered to Your Name

And forever I will pray

Have Your way

Oh here I stand

Arms open wide

Oh I am Yours

And You are mine

**********

So scream them out load to the sky, lip sync them in front of the mirror, whisper them a thousand times in the night, but above all, MEAN them. Words are worthless if they have no meaning behind them, and so are our lives.

An explanation..

2011-05-16T14:40:00.003-05:00

A while back ago, I posted a poem/song that I've now come to find out was rather depressing and frightening to some people close to me.

Know this: I am not suicidal nor depressed, and never have been.

But I am a girl. Who struggles with the way people view her, with loneliness, with feelings of unworthiness.

I often write championing the cause of waiting and letting God be the one to fill the void in our lives. But the thing is, I can write all I want, and still not believe it myself.

I struggle! I'm human! I'm not perfect.

And the devil knows this. He knows my weaknesses. Those feelings of unworthiness, the fear of being alone. And he knows exactly how to play them.

I purposely was vague in that post, not wanting to offend or cause guilt to some friends of mine. You see, I spoke of prom.

Prom.

Oh the feelings of dread and joy associated with that word. An American tradition gone horribly awry.

You see, no one had asked me to go to the prom.

Now, many people might say "Just go with your friends as a group!" And many people did say that. But to me, and perhaps I was seeing a little too deeply into this, prom wasn't about the party. It wasn't about the limos, the dresses, the music.

It was about being asked. Asked to dance. Considered worthy enough to be asked.

And I wasn't asked. I didn't go. And I didn't dance.

That night I sat at home listening to depressing music, watching pictures of prom go up on facebook, and all I could think was, "Why didn't they ask...? What kept them from asking me...? Am I so undesirable to have as a date?"

And I forgot what mattered the most. I forgot how I had encouraged so many young girls to wait through highschool to date. I forgot my own commitment to wait. I forgot about the one God has waiting for me. I forgot about the ONE above who was quietly whispering, "I already asked."

And instead, I wrote that song. I vented my grief and despair over never having another prom (for I graduate this week) to go to, never being asked to dance. I let Satan have his way with my weaknesses. I let him manipulate those feelings of loneliness and unworthiness and that seeped in through the pictures on facebook, my friends innocent comments, their unconscious actions.

How could they have known? But I blamed them. And wallowed that night.

Yet the song has two lines at the end that "go up". Maybe. But they weren't heartfelt. They were done out of obligation to keep up the profile, the image people had known me for.

So why do I write this?

I write this to show that even those who proclaim to be strong and untouchable, those who seem perfect and we put on a pedastool... we're not immune.

That night God brought several girls online to talk to me. Each one had been touched by what I wrote and I was able to be ministered by them! and to them. I saw, and they saw, that we are not alone. And by that, one lie was conquered. Loneliness.

I went to my writers forum, and in the midst of my tears, God brought out a batch of "thank yous". Fellow brothers in Christ thanked me for being an example of a heart for the Lord and for the love God had given me for them. And with that, another lie was conquered. Unworthiness.

What Satan meant for evil, God meant for His glory.

Amen and Amen.

Oh, death, where is your sting?

2011-04-24T20:02:00.001-05:00

Let no one caught in sin remain
Inside the lie of inward shame
We fix our eyes upon the cross
And run to Him who showed great love

And bled for us
Freely You've bled for us

Christ is risen from the dead
Trampling over death by death
Come awake, come awake
Come and rise up from the grave

Christ is risen from the dead
We are one with Him again
Come awake, come awake
Come and rise up from the grave

Beneath the weight of all our sin
You bowed to none but Heaven's will
No scheme of Hell, no scoffer's crown
No burden great can hold You down

In strength You reign
Forever let Your church proclaim

Christ is risen from the dead
Trampling over death by death
Come awake, come awake
Come and rise up from the grave

Christ is risen from the dead
We are one with Him again
Come awake, come awake
Come and rise up from the grave

O death, where is your sting?
O hell, where is your victory?
O church, come stand in the light
The glory of God has defeated the night

Sing it, o death, where is your sting?
O hell, where is your victory?
O church, come stand in the light
Our God is not dead, He's alive, He's alive

Christ is risen from the dead
Trampling over death by death
Come awake, come awake
Come and rise up from the grave

Christ is risen from the dead
We are one with Him again
Come awake, come awake
Come and rise up from the grave

Christ is risen from the dead
Trampling over death by death
Come awake, come awake
Come and rise up from the grave

Christ is risen from the dead
We are one with Him again
Come awake, come awake
Come and rise up from the grave
Rise up from the grave

Good Friday

2011-04-22T18:58:00.001-05:00

"I see you there hanging on a tree
You bled and then you died and then you rose again for me
Now you are sitting on Your heavenly throne
Soon we will be coming home
You're beautiful, you're beautiful

When we arrive at eternity's shore
Where death is just a memory and tears are no more
We'll enter in as the wedding bells ring
Your bride will come together and we'll sing
You're beautiful, You're beautiful, You're beautiful."
-You're Beautiful by Phil Wickham

A cry..

2011-04-08T18:06:00.002-05:00

Tonight I'm on my own.

No one has asked me to dance.

There are no men to take me,

nor any friends willing.

I am alone and I cry out. I want to dance! I want to be chosen!

But none do.

It's the last time.

Before I know it the days will have passed.

And the chance to go is gone.

Beyond my reach and unattainable.

I am alone and I cry out. I want to dance! I want to be chosen!

Will anyone choose me?

Everyone leaves, in their pretty little couples.

Dressed to the nines, flowers in hand.

They post smiling pictures, sharing their experience.

An experience I'll never have.

I am alone and I cry out! I want to dance! I want to be chosen!

Please! Does anyone want me?

I'm told they don't deserve me.

That it'll be boring.

Does the location, the music, matter?

I just want someone to want me. To choose me.

I am alone and I cry out! I want to dance! I want to be chosen!

No one chooses me.

They are oblivious to the wounds it inflicts.

Their smiling faces and photographs.

Unconscious that of the way

All this brings up old scars.

I am alone and I cry out! I want to dance! I want to be chosen!

No one thinks to ask me.

I am vanilla pudding.

The girl next door.

Everyone's friend.

Why would they ask me?

I am alone and I cry out! I want to dance! I want to be chosen!

What keeps me from being chosen?

The chance comes and goes.

The dresses are put away.

I go to the dinner alone,

No one by my side.

I am alone and I cry out. I wanted to chance, but I wasn't chosen.

I am abandoned.

These years are nearly up.

Yet I've never once been asked.

The pain gets buried again,

And these wounds are never healed.

I am alone and I cry out for you! Where are you? The prince of my stories?

Why haven't you come?

How much longer do I have to wait?

Wait to be asked?

Would you even ask?

Would you even dance?

I am alone, waiting for you. Come fast, come quick. My heart wearies.

Are you on the horizon?

But I wait.

Cheeks tear-stained and eyes blurred.

Dearest, Darling, My Love.

Ask me to dance.

Join me, heal me, sooth the wounds and chase away the fears. Come blessed by love and The Almighty.

Answer my cry.

An Apology

2011-04-04T18:47:00.002-05:00

To the men in my life, and those who know me by name and sight:

I have an apology to make to you. I have not put you first.

I have deliberately ignored the fact that guys look at me daily, the fact that I have an impact on those around me, the fact that the way I dress can influence it all.

I'm sorry for not viewing you as a brother in Christ, and for causing you to stray or stumble.

I'm sorry for dressing in a way that is relieving, distracting, and immodest.

I have instead sought what was comfortable or looked popular in magazines. I gave no thought to how much skin was showing, what would happen if I bent over, if i was revealing something that should be saved for my husband.

And by doing so, I am at fault. I have seen you as an object to please, to receive attention from, and to show off to.

I am so, so sorry.

You are my brothers in Christ. Worthy of the respect and love that comes with consciously acting and dressing in a way that only furthers your respect for women, your sisters in Christ, and God himself. I should be doing my best to lead you on a higher path, on without shame or lust. One of purity and virtue.

So I ask you to forgive me. For any outfit, act, or word that has had negative consequences in your life.

It is my goal to only further your walk with your Maker and to enhance the spiritual beauty of other sisters in Christ, that respect might be the first thing in your mind, instead of physicality.

Today I have been convicted and I stand before you with sorrow for what I have done. But I look to the future with hope, and I pray you do too.

To be...

2011-03-16T19:01:00.003-05:00

A while back I was asked what kind of woman I want to be. And frankly, I've thought about it here and there, but when I actually sat down to write it, I was surprised at how much like my mother I want to be. So here's to you Mumsie, for raising a daughter that could only wish to live in your shadow.

"I've always wanted to be an "artsy" person, and considering I've already achieved that, :P I hope to have it transferred into several aspects of my life.

I want to be the kind of wife/woman who decorates her home and her life with color, joy, and a love for all things living. I like the color green, because it represents living things. It's vibrant and clean.

I want to use it all throughout my home.

But I also want to BE green. Sorry if that's cheesy, but I see no reason with using fewer chemicals and rating organically.

I want to be healthy and fit, spontaneous and playful for my husband.

I want to cook for and with him, take long walks and have tickle fights.

I want to do little things for him all day long that brighten his day.

I want to cherish, honor, and respect him.

I want to have a big family and raise my children inter fear and admonition of the Lord.

I want them to be free to be themselves.

I want them to not have to live the way I did middle school, obsessed with what people thought of me, and whether or not I was worthy.

I want to show them what an amazing gift each if them are in the sight of the Lord and their parents.
I want to bake home made bread like mom.

I want to have a bug herb garden.

I want to have picnics in the backyard for no reason.

I want to build tents with all the quilts.

I want to let my little girls go out to eat in tutus and feather boas.

I want to make mud pies with my little boys.

I want to take then to reenactments and see then run around in breeches and petticoats.

I want to be what mom is to me: my closest confidant and biggest encourager.

I want to write stories for their bedtimes and stay up late with them drinking cocoa and reading books on Christmas.

I want to have family game nights that end with entire family pillow fights.

I want to serve, my church, my community, my world. I want to be a woman that gives, gives, and gives again.

I want to instill that passion for missions into my kids, and show them how much God loves his people.

I want to have a constantly full cookie jar.

I want music to be constantly playing. Whether I'm singing at the top of my lungs (and horribly out of tune) or someone playing an instrument.

I want dirty footprints and cotton curtains, open doors and windows, and jars full of butterflies.

I want to my children to know the Lord at a young age, and to LIVE their faith from a young age, and to not have waited to let the Lord do something in their lives until they were "older".

I might homeschool, I might not. But whatever I do, I want my kids to know their faith and to be fearless and to stand up for what they believe.

I want to the mother that all my kids' friends love and hang out at my house.

I want to be crazy in love with my husband and to wake up every morning to his face.

I want to spend time with him in the morning on the back porch, watching the sunrise, drinking my tea and digging deep in His word.

I'm an idealist, and I don't want the picket fence, but I want my country cottage and a man who lives the Lord and me, and children who follow the example of their father.

I want to love, be loved, and give love."

A Rant on Perfection

2011-03-08T13:07:00.002-06:00

Recently, I had the privilege, okay maybe the vexation, of having several conversations on a certain male pop star around the age of 16. Now, I won't name any names in deference to my mother, and certain fanatic friends.

But I have a problem to pick with this guy. The problem is, he claims to be a Christian. And yet, in several interviews, his stand on specific values championed by other Christians is far from the mark.

Don't get me wrong. I have nothing against the fella's musical ability (although I don't happen to like his genre per se). I applaud the guy (in an age of Hannah Montana's and Jonas Brothers) for being yet another 12 year old crush inducer and still having the gumption to make a 3-d movie. Bravo. And yes, he should've won the New Artist of the Year award for the...um...whatever it was.

Until someone said something that got under my skin.

"Well, you can't expect him to be perfect!"

I can't? Isn't that what Christ expects of us....? Now, tell me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure that we are all held to a standard of perfection by God Almighty. We are to strive daily to meet that.

You tell me that I'm not perfect. That no one can meet that standard. Right you are.

We are flawed. All humankind, from the moment of the Fall has been flawed. We can't be perfect. At least, not on our own. God has given us a standard as Christians to constantly fight to be. But we can't without Christ.

And in a young man who claims to be a Christian...I don't see this at all.

If your heart's desire is to be a man or woman fully devoted at following after your Lord, otherwise known as a Christian, perfection should be your goal! When young people in the media make a claim that may or may not be true in order to garner more fans or become "okay" with parents of tweens, this isn't true faith! We see what we want to! Another role model who's values are wishy washy and who's music is safe.

But for how long?

When another teen pop icon dropped her supposed "Christian girl" image for one of blatant pornagraphic suggestiveness, I lost my faith in teen pop icons. If this is the image the world has of us, no wonder they look down. We are represented by a generation of weak-minded teenagers who's only care is their reputation. Not the Lord's.

I am sick and tired of people supporting a standard so far below the one that is outlined in the Word.

I admit. I am a flawed, sinful, wretched sinner. I can't sing worth a wit. I have no talent for dancing on stage in front of thousands. I can't become a boy magnet by flaunting what little body I have.

When I see a young person finally stand up, stake their claim as a Christian, perform, proclaim their values, and then campaign for them, THEN, and only then, will I support them.

True Christians live out their faith, and strive for perfection. All the others give wishy washy answers in Rolling Stones and settle for "good enough".

To all those single ladies on the Great Day of Love...

2011-02-14T13:12:00.004-06:00

Several times recently, the topic of beauty has been brought up amongst my friends and I.

And as a person who struggled (and struggles) daily with a low self image, I know what it's like to view yourself as

[worthless] and [inferior.]

So what do we as women of God do to defend against these feeling of worthlessness? We turn to make up, hair products, new clothes, and body treatments. Many people have opinions on why we do this, but as a single woman, I can say that mine is a little different.

I want to be cherished. I want to be cherished by a man of God who delights himself in the love and law of the Lord. But as it happens, I don't have a husband, boyfriend or fiancé to do that for me. And so I turn to myself to cherish myself. Which results in make up, hair products, clothes, (even flowers!) that I buy myself so I will feel cherished.

There's something wrong with this picture though. I'm not allowing myself to be cherished by someone else, when I'm so busy cherishing myself.

Because you see, someone is cherishing me.

And He finds me ravishing and gorgeous and perfectly suited to His tastes in women: Clothed in white garments and washed by the blood of the Lamb.

I hide, like a frightened child behind a mask of chemicals, oils, and elixirs, trying to disguise the beauty God has given me with something fake and false that is akin to the perfection we see in

[Barbie dolls] and [Disney Princesses.]

Have we truly let beauty be equated to plastic toys that could be used as toothpicks and animated figures of fabled legends? Where did the timeless beauty of

the Shulamite in Song of Songs go?

What happened to her abandonment to love?

Or the beauty of Ruth?

That singular trust and obedience of a submissive spirit to her Lord's will?

Or the beauty of Esther?

The confidence and faith of a woman sold out to her Savior?

Are these attributes considered ugly and unlikable? I think not. God said in 1st Peter that the kind of spiritual beauty the women listed above had was a

"...precious thing...of great worth in the eyes of God.."

that he will

"...delight over you with singing and great joy..."

(Zephaniah).

If we have the joy and delight of God in the light of being His precious creation are we blaspheming God and saying that what He created is "not good" simply cause we aren't idolized as a child's toy?

God created the woman out of the rib of Adam and said it was very good. We took nothing away, nor added a thing.

If God didn't, who are we to do so?

I admit. I am guilty of this constantly. But what kind of mask are you hiding behind? Are you a slave to the perfection of a finicky world? Or are you using the things provided you, as Esther did with the beauty treatments Xerxes provided, to merely enhance and let your glorious and true beauty shine?

Esther may have been beautiful, but what was she remembered for in the long run?

Her beauty?

Two questions for you to think about:

1. Do you fall victim to these lies? If so why kind of mask do you hide behind and why?

2. Are you calling God a liar? Do you deny His proclamation of your beauty? Is so, why do you think that is, and what could you change to stop that?

[Twist back the image of beauty the world has brainwashed you with.]

Well just scratch that.

2010-09-07T14:37:00.002-05:00

I seriously stink at being consistant when it comes to blogging. *sigh*

Life has been taken over by books, driving, working at the church, and mission projects. I can't believe how much there is to do. It's like I'm running on five different tracks, and still not getting enough done.

Suffice it to say, I'm alive, I'm NOT writing (sadly), and am in over my head with the amount of stuff I've given myself to do. I'm hoping that next semester wont be so bad. But that's doubtful. Highly doubtful.

I did go on a bike ride yesterday. Which was lovely. And then, because of my lack of physical excerise in the past...year or so...my thighs felt like they were about to fall off. Which isn't pleasant. At all.

More to come soon. I hope. Pray. Wish. >_>

Sisterly affection...

2010-08-30T16:41:00.003-05:00

Surprise, Surprise. Janessa got a new camera for her birthday. Happy Birthday, love. :) We were messing around and had some fun. Enjoy. We did. :)

PS: My hair has since changed. Again. So for the record I don't look like that exactly. :P

Oops

2010-08-27T15:30:00.002-05:00

So I was going to do a poem each day...epic fail there. SO. I'm going to do a poem a week for the month of September. :P Sneaky, huh? Getting out of it like that...

Anyways. Lori, my lovely sister-in-law sent me this story and I wanted to share it. It impacted me deeply and I can't thank her enough for sending it. Thank you so much.

The Room

In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features except for the one wall covered with small index card files. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order.

But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endless in either direction, had very different headings.

As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read "Boys I Have Liked." I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one. And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was.

This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn't match. A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching.

A file named "Friends" was next to one marked "Friends I Have Betrayed." The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird: "Books I Have Read," "Lies I Have Told," "Comfort I Have Given," "Jokes I Have Laughed At." Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: "Things I Have Yelled At My Brothers." Others I couldn't laugh at: "Things I Have Done In My Anger," "Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath At My Parents." I never ceased to be surprised by the contents.

Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes fewer than I hoped. I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I had the time in my years to fill each of these thousands or even millions of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature.

When I pulled out the file marked "TV Shows I Have Watched," I realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn't found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of shows but more by the vast time I knew that file represented.

When I came to a file marked "Lustful Thoughts," I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size, and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content. I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded. An almost animal rage broke in me. One thought dominated my mind, "No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!" In an insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn't matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it.

Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh. And then I saw it. The title bore "People I Have Shared The Gospel With."

The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand. And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that they hurt. They started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key.

But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him.

No, please not Him. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus. I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn't bear to watch His response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own. He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one? Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn't anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn't say a word. He just cried with me.

Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card. "No!" I shouted rushing to Him. All I could find to say was "No! No!" as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn't be on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood. He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards. I don't think I'll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side. He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, "It is finished."

I stood up, and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door. There were still cards to be written.

On poetry, and the common expression of disinterest delivered unto it.

2010-08-23T12:20:00.002-05:00

The other day at church I was involved in a conversation about Poetry. Now, I love poetry and think it's beautiful when done right. And understandable.

However, some people don't think so. Several of my friends, [and no offense to you. don't worry, I don't say names. ;)] think poetry is impossible to understand or interpret. Or that you have to be brilliant to do so.

I beg to differ.

While some poems are very much like that. Confusing, having opposite underlying meanings, but poetry can be a wonderful expression of art. So, this week I will be posting a few of my favorites and please see if you can just enjoy the beauty of them, as they are.

Day One

When I Have Fears

John Keats

WHEN I have fears that I may cease to be

Before my pen has glean’d my teeming brain,

Before high piled books, in charact’ry,

Hold like rich garners the full-ripen’d grain;

When I behold, upon the night’s starr’d face,

Huge cloudy symbols of a high romance,

And think that I may never live to trace

Their shadows, with the magic hand of chance;

And when I feel, fair creature of an hour!

That I shall never look upon thee more,

Never have relish in the faery power

Of unreflecting love! - then on the shore

Of the wide world I stand alone, and think

Till Love and Fame to nothingness do sink.

On another note:

I have finished Twelfth Night, I Would Die for You, and am onto As You Like It, Radical, and Song of Roland. And still no one has joined me. *sigh* You puny non-bookworms.

WHERE IS MY BROTHER?

[I know you read this Josh!!! :P]

Blessed beyond measure..

2010-08-08T14:50:00.002-05:00

"You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.

You're blessed when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.

You're blessed when you're content with just who you are—no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought.

You're blessed when you've worked up a good appetite for God. He's food and drink in the best meal you'll ever eat.

You're blessed when you care. At the moment of being 'care-full,' you find yourselves cared for.

You're blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.

You're blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That's when you discover who you really are, and your place in God's family.

You're blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God's kingdom.

Not only that—count yourselves blessed every time people put you down or throw you out or speak lies about you to discredit me. What it means is that the truth is too close for comfort and they are uncomfortable. You can be glad when that happens—give a cheer, even!—for though they don't like it, I do! And all heaven applauds.

[And know that you are in good company. My prophets and witnesses have always gotten into this kind of trouble.]"

Isn't it good to know that others have gone before us, and God isn't surprised by what happens?

Happy Sunday.

Thursday Tidbits

2010-08-05T10:38:00.003-05:00

Just a few things to note.

1. Incase anyone was wondering, I got contacts this week. Apparently, the glasses aren't doing their job, which is rather a let down.

[I thought they were rather awesome, in my humble opinion.]

But as Dr. Bestwinna let me know, my right eye is 4 times worse than before. Yeah. Shocked me too. Didn't think I would get my parents' eyes so early. :P

[Love you mom and dad!]

And now I am no longer a cyclops. My left eye needs them now too. Great. Oh, and to top it all off the right one has astigmatism. Lovely. SO. I have contacts. And since I had them for a short time before, [in the right eye only, since the left one was fine two years ago] the right eye's contact fits fine, and I don't notice. The left however....oh dear. I can't seem to get used to it. I'm beginning to wonder if I have it in wrong. >_> It hurts and my eye is leaking like Niagara Falls. Which, believe me, isn't pleasant.

At all.

[See? It's red. Like MY EYE.]

But the contacts look nice on me. :D And I don't have black rims around everything anymore!

2. Numéro deux.

[That's French for Number two.]

The Rebelution tour is coming to Nashvegas! Huzzah! If you've never heard of the Rebelution, check this out:

Wanna come? Sign up here!

I'll be at the door, registering people. So..I guess if you want to see me too, sign up. :P Cause I'm such an amazing draw.

[Sarcasm, anyone?]

3. Update on my reading list.

Currently reading:

-Twelfth Night by The Lovely Shakespeare

and

-Radical by David Platt

Twelth Night is almost finished [after which, I have to write a few papers and answer questions. Good times. :D], and I'm entering the fourth chapter in Radical. Radical is slower to read, but much more challenging, mentally and spiritually. And also more rewarding.

[Twelfth Night is just fun.]

I noticed something. No one is joining me in reading even one of the books on my list.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!

I know, I know. I'm some freak who LOVES to read. Get over it. You should too. It's fun. And rewarding. And ... learn-i-ish. I love made up words. :D

But seriously. Huckleberry Finn is not hard to read. For that matter, neither is Shakespeare. Despite what your 8th grade English Class taught you years ago. You CAN love Shakespeare. Trust me. I'm not the only one who does. :P

[I'm pointing to you, you writers I know that follow my blog. You traitors of all things bookish.]

[Can you see my lovely sense of the dramatic here?]

So. GO. READ. JOIN ME. PLEASE. Do you think I enjoy explaining all of Shakespeare puns with Mumsie Dearest? I thought not.

I leave you with this. Simply cause I find it horridly ironic and it's one of my favorite verses to quote. Especially when Dad starts egging on me to study for the ACT. Again.

[Which is rather a smart thing to do, but don't tell anyone I admitted to it.

I mean, I can trust the World Wide Web, right?]

Here it is:

{But regarding anything beyond this, dear friend, go easy. There's no end to the publishing of books, and constant study wears you out so you're no good for anything else.}

-Ecclesiastes 12:12 MSG

100th post!!!! w00t!

2010-08-02T14:25:00.005-05:00

Yup. That's right. 100 posts.

Actually, that's kinda sad considering how long I've had this blog. >_>

Anyways. Updates!

School has started in full swing this year...Oh. I don't think I've ever mentioned this. I'm

homeschooled.

Yup. And I'm a senior this year. Which means lotsa stuff to do. And because I just want to tell it to something..here's the list.

Senior Project at my church: helping out in the student ministry and girls ministry as well as helping out in the nursery for an hour each Sunday.
PE credit: Team manager for my lil sis's soccer team. This means soccer practice on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays, and games on Fridays and Saturdays. Oh me. What have I done. -_-
Debate and Worldview classes on Thursday.
Humanities class on Wednesday.
French II on Tuesday.
Babysitting on Friday nights (twice a month) and cleaning houses on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Gotta make some income somehow.
PLUS. I am still running the Least of These ministry at my church.

So. All that on top of other subjects (Geometry, dual enrollment for a computer class, and CLEPing out of a Biology class, and a Brit Lit cred I'm doing myself) I have to try to fit in my reading lists, re-enacting, mission trips, dancing, piano, and in general, a life. :P

Speaking of reading lists, want to see mine? Hoo boy.

Humanities:

The Song of Roland - author unknown - medieval French literary work from 11^th century
The Divine Comedy - Dante
The Decameron - Giovanni Boccaccio
Caedmon's Hymn - oldest extant Old English poem composed between 658 and 680

Worldview :

Radical - David Platt
I would Die for You - Brent and Deanna Higgins

Brit Lit:

Twelth Night
Much Ado About Nothing
As You Like It
All's Well That Ends Well
The Tempest
MacBeth
Hamlet
The Genlemen of Verona

All by Shakespeare. I'm studying his works as my Brit Lit cred. Luckily, I love the dear old fellow and am looking forward to this subject....unlike some of my friends. :)

Pre-College Requisite:

No Doubt About It: The Case for Christianity - Winifried Corduan
Mere Christianity - C.S. Lewis
Plato: Complete Works - Plato
Dictionary of Philosophy and Religion: Eastern and Western Thought - William L. Reese
Politics - Aristotle
The Law - Bastiat
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn - Mark Twain
Leviathon - Thomas Hobbes
The Crucible - Arthur Miller
Discourse on the Origin of Inequality - Jean-Jacques Rousseau
Wealth of Nations - Adam Smith
Gulliver's Travels - Jonathan Swift
The Annals of Imperial Rome - Tacitus
War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
Myths from Mesopotamia - anonymous
The Oresteia - Aeschylus
The Landmark Herodotus: The Histories - Herodotus
The Illiad - Homer
On the Nature of Things - Lucretius
History of the Peloponnesian War - Thucydides
Clouds - Aristophanes
Oedipus Rex - Sophocles
City of God - Augustine

I recently visited my future college (Yes, I have decided) and talked to one of the professors. After discussing it with my parents, we realized that it might be wise for me to go ahead and begin reading some of the texts that will be used in my classes. Those are listed above. Yes, I realize that the majority of these are hardcore intense reading. And it has started to look quite imposing, but I'm up for the challenge.

Speaking of college, and deciding college for that matter, I've chosen:

The College at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary.

Yeah..long name. But it's an amazing school and has everything I could ever hope for in a college. I'll be doing a double major of Christian Studies and English with a possible minor in History, before continuing on for my Masters in Divinity. Yup. Big plan. It'll be six years, but I excited, frankly.

So that's the reason for all the books. I think I'm going to put some sort of counter on the side bar keeping track. Hm. Good thought. Then all you guys can keep up with my success (or failure) of reading that monster list. :P Anyone want to join me on some of them? I'd love to have people to discuss it with. *hinthint* ;)

Now. Back to school work.

Keep Changing the World...

2010-07-31T18:22:00.001-05:00

I think this song sums it up wonderfully...and tells alot about how I'm feeling right now. More to come in near days..

Called...

2010-07-14T17:42:00.002-05:00

"Not called!" did you say? "Not heard the call," I think you should say.Put your ear down the Bible and hear Him bid you go and pull sinners out of the fire of sin. Put your ear down to the burdened, the agonized hearts of humanity, and listen to its pitiful wail for help. Go stand by the gates of Hell, and hear the damned entreat you to go to their father's house and bid their brothers and sisters, and servants and masters not to come there. And then look Christ in the face, whose mercy you have professed to obey, and tell him whether you will join heart and soul and body and circumstances in the march to publish his mercy to the world.

-William Booth

Monday, Monday, Monday.....(said with a deep voice that rumbles)

2010-07-08T19:02:00.007-05:00

So yes, I have a long post comin' your way today, cause it's Monday. :D Which happens to include pics. Huzzah!

1. KA trip.

Which was awesome. Here's some stuff from it.

Me, trying to get some last minute editing done! I like this pic. It's funny and cute. And my hair looks awesome. :P In case you were wondering, yes I cut it. Again. I can't help it! I love it short!

Lunch on Saturday, I have the grey hat on. Oh, how I miss you guys!

Some of us goofing of as Pirates vs. Ninjas. XD I was a Pirate!

Samii, StoryGirl and me! *Sorry SG! I forgot your name! Eyi!

2. A new book.

Yup. And you have to buy it. It's just too amazing. Here's a vid on what it's all about.

This book has changed my life, and I'm only in the third chapter. Here's a tid bit for ya.

It's easy for American Christians to forget how jesus said his followers would actually live, what thier new lifestyle would actually look like. They would, he said, leave behind security, money, convenience, even family for him. They would abandon everything for the sake of the gospel. They would take up their crosses daily....

But who do you know that lives like that? Do you?

3. Discussion

Last night Mom, Dad, Janessa and I had some powerful discussion on what we (as a family) believe as Baptists. It was challenging, encouraging, and heartening to be fed the truth. Time after time, we pulled out our copies of God's Word and checked what we believe to what we know the Bible says. How amazing is it to know that God has an answer to everything? Whether or not he decides to make it known to us...

Here's a bit that was especially powerful for me.

God knew what he was doing from the very beginning. He decided from the outset to shape the lives of those who love him along the same lines as the life of his Son. The Son stands first in the line of humanity he restored. We see the original and intended shape of our lives there in him. After God made that decision of what his children should be like, he followed it up by calling people by name. After he called them by name, he set them on a solid basis with himself. And then, after getting them established, he stayed with them to the end, gloriously completing what he had begun.
Romans 8:28-30

I don't know how to keep going on miscellaneous things today. Today is just too thoughtful to fill with random musings. Last night's talk left too big an imprint on me to be spouting off about Sharpies and shopping sprees....and after that video..I don't know if I want to. God has a bigger calling on our lives than the best deals at the grocery store. Are we responding to it? And I leave you with this. A video that did more than change my life...it's changed my future.

Changes, changes...

2010-06-23T18:02:00.003-05:00

Some of you may have noticed the changes on my blog. Well, a lot is happening to do so.

If you want to keep up with my re-enactments, go to it's own specialized page, newly made for your convenience!
I am a writer, so my blog might be a little more literary minded this school year. Including my study of Shakespeare's works for my Brit Lit cred. :D
The new name. Don't worry, the url is still the same. But I've come to a realization this summer. God has equipped me with a talent for words, and I intend to use it to tell stories of grace, hope, forgiveness, and sacrifice. Some times that means I have to dip into the real world for examples of sin, despair, cruelty, and deprivation. Understand that this is real writing. Not some fairy tale. Not a lovey-dovey story that makes you feel good and your innards warm. As a friend of mine once said, "I want to be God's frying pan and go around whacking heads. People have got to wake up." Wake up indeed.
Pictures.....ah yes. Those lovely things. Weeel, the laptop crashed, so posting pictures is difficult now and editing them is near impossible. I'm working on that. ;) Re-enactments are hard to come by in the summer (when it's 99 degrees for a week straight). But trips aren't! :D And I have plenty of those coming.
Sewing Projects!!!! I have yet to update that page (or develop it for that matter. ;) ) I have several projects done, and finished, that I would love to post and talk about! Check out that page soon for some awesome stitching!

To keep you all up to date, here's a look at what this year is bringing:

NC trip (#3 of this year) and trip to Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary in Wake Forest, NC.
Several re-enactments. Including the Fall Encampment, Red River, Yule Fest, Daniel Smith Days, and possibly Fort Loudon, which I am especially excited about.
The usual Thanksgiving Trip to NC.
A "talked of" Christmas trip to....Texas? O_o

And in addition to:

School!
Novel deadline (August 15th at midnight)
New novel!
Graduation! O_O There's a shocker for ya. ;)

Some updates on my life:

The Kansas trip went great and I had a blast! Learned so much from the people there and can't wait to go back next year.
Contacts?
A new impersonation for re-enacting. Drumroll please!!! : It's a young widow. Hoohoo! There's gonna be some fun with that. :D
This is a little more serious. I have felt God leading me into the mission field after (and during) college. For quite a while he has placed the people of Europe on my heart, where religion there is a culture, not a relationship with God Almighty. Please pray for me as I find out what God has planned for my life and prepare for His calling.

So, anyways. Lotsa going on. And more to come. ;) (Don't worry, patience isn't a virtue I possess either. XD )

Miscellany Monday

2010-05-31T20:51:00.004-05:00

I found this amazing blog the other day.

Actually, I take that back. I've been following it for weeks and absolutely love it!

So I decided to link up and do their Miscellany Mondays for fun. Who knows? Maybe I'll get more followers. ;)

So here we go.

1. Have I ever mentioned how awesome my dad is? Well he is.

Saturday evening, I was bored (how in the world I have no idea, since I had a good book to read, a book to write and plenty of friends to chat with) and wanted to see the movie, Prince of Persia. So did Ness. And Mumsie. But they were seeing it on Monday (today) with some friends. Who aren't my age. Bummer. Daddy was exhausted from work and decided to see it Monday.

Well, typical me, I had a pity party for myself (yes, the good 'ol fashioned Janae pity party). I wanted a date THAT night with Daddy and at NIGHT. Not during the day like everyone else on Monday. Why? Cause it doesn't seem like a date, that's why! I got over it eventurally.

But guess what? Daddy surprised me today. Instead of going with everyone else, he's taking me to the showing at 9:35 pm. A Date. At Night.

Isn't he awesome? I love you Daddy.

2. I have to find raisins. I promised my friend Jared I'd make him oatmeal raisin cookies (seriously) in return for reading one of his novels early. And we don't have raisins. Kroger here I come.

3. My lavender plant finally has roots! YES! I've been working on a cutting of it and the poor thing would not root! Well, today I was commenting on how pitiful it looked and low and behold, there was a root. Herb garden, thou shalt be complete!

4. Sweet Tea is the nectar of the gods. I'm dead serious. I live off of that stuff. I think I went through a gallon and a half today. And no, I wasn't doing anything strenuous to deserve so much liquid. I was reading.

What!? It makes me thirsty!

5. Happy Memorial Day. Even with my extensive vocabulary and penchant for words (yes, yes I know, please don't applaud), nothing I could say could sum it up quite as perfectly for me as the song they sang in church yesterday.

"...this is the land of the Free, because of the Brave..."

My name is Janae....NOT JanEa.

2010-05-26T10:33:00.003-05:00

Anyone who knows me knows that my name is almost ALWAYS mispronounced. And this is rather grating. Sometimes I wonder if it would have been easier to have a common name like "Sarah" or "Emma".

But then I remember what my name means and why it was given to me.

You see, I was a surprise. That's right. Big 'ol surprise baby commin' right up! Highfives to all you surprise babies out there.

But you know what? Mom and Dad thought that was the coolest thing to have a little girl ten years after two boys. And what did they name me? Janae. Which means "God's Gracious Gift".

So my name is both a pleasing and a curse. Why? Because no one gets it right. There is a poor child named JanEa who refuses to answer to roll call for her Stanford Achievement Tests. Poor her. So are Janie, Janna, Jenna, and Jeannie.

But Janae is sitting there waiting. And when I think about how much my parents loved me to give me a name so rare and beautiful, I'm glad I'm not a Sarah. Or an Emma. I'm glad I'm Janae.

And one day, if God decides to bless me with a beautiful surprise baby girl, I'll name her Janae.

I'll just spell it differently. ;)

Spring!

2010-05-04T17:32:00.003-05:00

Sorry guys about all the background changes. I've been messing around with some different themes and tidbits. I finally decided on this one, it's nice and fresh and I love the color. A Few things to check out:

I have pages now! YAY! I'll posting all my sewing projects and statuses in "Under the Needle".

Causes and projects I support are in "Do Something About It". And lastly, all the people and blogs I love are in "From Their Fingertips".

And now for some fun! Despite the rain from the past few days, I've managed to plant my herb garden for the year and I'm so excited about it. Everything's so green! I've got some pics, and I hope you enjoy!

Herbs I planted: Basil, Chamomile, Cilantro, Fennel, Lavender, Lemon Balm, Mint, Oregano, Rosemary, Sage, Taragon, and Thyme! Not all are planted, as some I have to do seedlings, and others I have as cuttings in mason jars in the kitchen window sill. :D But, here are the few I did this afternoon.

Back view of it. Daddy built me a bed alongside the fence with all these lovely flowers behind it!
Frontal view. That's Dad in the background with the straw hat. XD
Sage!
Mint!

Note: I apologize for the sad state of the photos. Due to my camera not allowing me to load pictures to the comp, I've had to use the camcorder. I'm working on saving for a much better one. But until then, well, deal with it. :P ;)

4 Random Things...and some announcements.

2010-05-04T09:25:00.003-05:00

Apparently, the flooding has reached national headlines...didn't realize that. But it's bad. realllll bad. Most of Nashville is underwater and will be for quite some time. This is horrible for our economy...which ain't the greatest anyways.

The dams here are also brimming, but they can't let out anymore water as it would destroy even more. This is very dangerous. If the water overflows, it could damage the dams.

Clean drinking water is also running out and people are being asked to conserve. This comes at the worst time, when everyone is planting their gardens and farms..that need water.

For those of you who care, I AM okay. There's been some flooding near us, closing off some of the major (and minor) road ways which make it hard to get to anything, like jobs and stores. Schools have been closed as buses can't get where they need to, and most of the schools have suffered damage as well.

The biggest concern in mold. Everyone is trying desperately to clean the water up, but in some places it's over 10 feet deep. Mold sets in after two days, and we're pretty darn near that mark. This could be disastrous to people who've already lost almost everything by just the water. Mold means you have to replace everything, down to the sheetrock.

Please keep us all in your prayers as we try to help others worse off than us. We need them.

Now, 4 Random Things for the Planting Chums!

1. I LOVE Sharpies. Seriously! They're so much fun! I recently bought a huge package of them with the double ends in all these bright colors!! MUCH love. :D

2. I sleep with my cat. I do, I do, I do!!! :D Usually she curls up behind my knees.

3. I spell "grey" with an 'e' not an 'a'. E looks better...more...green. XD

4. I do NOT "lol". Blegch. Nasteh uncreative abbreviations. It's *laugh* or "That made me laugh!" Whoever invented texting DESTROYED the English Language. UGH.

So...now that I've had my little rant. :D What about you? What are four random things about you? Comment to let us know!

For Lexi....

2010-04-30T18:10:00.001-05:00

Keete 4 by heartoverflowing featuring Ksubi jeans

Keete 3 by heartoverflowing featuring Chilli Pepper coats

Keete 2 by heartoverflowing featuring Roberto Cavalli jewelry

Keete by heartoverflowing featuring Vivienne Westwood Anglomania coats

Love you girl. :D Hope you enjoyed.

Yum Yum

2010-04-23T13:29:00.003-05:00

Down in the dumps? Here's a recipe for a quiet, happier afternoon.

Snack:

1/2 cup of unflavored yogurt

1/4 cup of Cascadian Farms Honey and Oats Granola

1/4 cup of Ocean Spray Pomegranate Craisins

Mix together and Enjoy! I like mine with a warm mug of Celestial's Green Tea with Honey and Ginseng.

Grab a good book and some of Myleene Klass's music and your good to go!

Updates galore! Part 2

2010-04-19T18:07:00.010-05:00

Oh for the love of butter! Well, Spring Encampment was a blast and my main employment was in the making (and cleaning) of butter. Sam and her sister Marci were my main helpers. Here's how it works.

I churned the butter for about an hour. Depending on the temperature outside, it takes anywhere from 15 minutes to and hour and a half (from my own experience) to make the butter separate from the butter milk.
Luckily, I had plenty of friends to keep me company while I churned. The giant apron I'm wearing was made with the sole purpose of making butter with it. It's wide skirt completely covers my petticoats and the bib keeps the butter cream from splashing up on my jacket front. Making butter isn't the cleanest occupation. ;)

When we finished, I scooped the butter out and ran water over it in the colander, until the water drained out clear. We then filled the bigger mold (in the background) and began to fill the smaller mold which Sam is holding. The bigger one can be seen in the background. The bowl in front is an 18th century pottery colander. We used it to wash the butter.

Pushing it out!

Popping the larger butter cake out of the mold. Marci was such a good helper!

Releasing the first mold. This one was kinda messy as the larger mold wasn't as good quality as the smaller one.
Getting the second layer out of the mold. This one was trickier because the suction was better. Sam's other sister, Vanessa is in the foreground.
Putting the two layers together...
Molding the butter.
Rubbing the two butter cakes together...
Picking up left over pieces of butter to fill in the cracks...
Here Sam explains to Marci how the butter mold works.
Smoothing extra butter around the edges...

Marci learned a lot about churning that day..

TADA! Butter! Here we are draining excess water off the plate before replacing the butter cake.
Getting all the butter off our hands...
Cleaning the butter molds. That's Lee in the background.
Washing the dishes...and ourselves! :D
Drying off our hands on my huge butter churning apron...

Mumsie had made several loaves of bread in the bake oven and between my butter and her bread, we fed plenty of people that weekend! By Sunday, the butter was entirely gone!

Anyways, hope you guys enjoyed that little instruction as to 18th century butter making!

Updates galore! Part 1

2010-04-19T17:53:00.003-05:00

So...I have quite a few things to post, but I'll go in chronological order, so bear with me. :D I'm also doing separate posts, because my computer is acting up and wont let me move pics around. Gr.

First off: Baby Jared! Here's some more pics. NOTE: I didn't bother to do my hair in any of these pics, so it looks fluffy and odd. Bear with it. ;) I'm getting it cut soon for summer.

Okay, this has to be my absolute favorite picture this year. XD Jared fell asleep on me first, and then I fell asleep too! After the long drive to NC and then a day out with friends to the movies and mall, I crashed on the couch whilst Janessa and a friend played Modern Warfare! XD
A little dark, but isn't he an angel?!!? Almost always sleeps on his side....

Departure day. His little onsie has a whale on it and says "Little Squirt" !!! How cute!

The Stand

2010-03-16T06:23:00.000-05:00

You stood before creation
Eternity in your hand
You spoke the earth into motion
My soul now to stand

You stood before my failure
And carried the cross for my shame
My sin weighed upon your shoulders
My soul now to stand

So what could I say?
And what could I do?
But offer this heart, Oh God
Completely to you

So I'll walk upon salvation
Your spirit alive in me
This life to declare your promise
My soul now to stand

So what could I say?
And what could I do?
But offer this heart, Oh God
Completely to you

I'll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the one who gave it all
I'll stand
My soul Lord to you surrendered
All I am is yours

I'M AN AUNT!!!

2010-03-11T05:49:00.002-06:00

Yesterday at 12:26 am Jared Gregroy ***** came into the world! We've waiting long for this and now my adorable nephew has finally decided to join us! Here are some pics.

Did you know?

2010-03-08T06:36:00.000-06:00

Peplum Jacket

2010-03-07T17:05:00.003-06:00

Well, I finally got around to making my peplum jacket for Spring Encampment. After getting lucky with a gorgeous piece of fabric, I decided against making another polonaise (having too many, and chose a fitted jacket, with peplum. I love the peplum and it looks wonderful flared out over petticoats.

So far, Mumsie and I have made the mock up. Unfortunately, the pattern made the jacket terribly small in the waist and way to short for myself with a longer torso. Altering the pattern, and then combining it with another, I drew up the finished idea on butcher paper and hope to attack it tonight.

But, since it has been a while from the last time I posted, I thought I'd give you a little tid bit. Here's the mock up, and my lovely fabric! Enjoy!

I took the pics with my webcam, so I apologize for the poor quality. Also, I went ahead and wore my shift, then pinned the jacket to it so you could see how it fits. The edges are raw, since it's just a mock up, and we didn't line it like we will for the real thing. The jacket is supposed to laceacross the front over a stomacher. Here is the back. Notice the peplum in the middle and at the sides.

Here's a side view. I wanted to include a pic of the sleeves, because they are different than any I've ever done. They cup over the elbow, ensuring modesty in the 1700's. ;)

Here's a side view. Notice the slits and peplum on the sides. This gives it a smooth finish over the torso, while keeping it flared over the hips.

And lastly a front view. See how open it is in the front.

And lastly, my lovely fabric. It's a red and blue cornflower on a cream background. Some friends of ours were renovating a house, and the curtains were made of this lovely Williamsburg print, 100% cotton, and ten yards of it!!! I squealed so much! They let us have it...since they had no better use for it and were going to throw it away. Thank goodness we spotted it!

So, hope that keeps you satisfied until I can post the final product! Until then!

Steampunk anyone...?

2010-02-16T14:35:00.003-06:00

Recently I've become fascinated by a type of fantasy costuming called steampunk. I thoght I'd give a try at it, and came up with this. It's a mannequin, as a friend of mine calls my drawings (since they are usually minus a head and hands). I'm hoping to actually make the costume to wear for a thing I'm hoping to go to this summer. Hoever, the jacket and blouse can easily be worn with modern clothing. Enjoy, and hopefully I might have posts soon of the construction!

Forgive the funky whiteness in the background...my attempt at compter erasers didn't turn out as planned. ;)

Reflections on love....

2010-02-14T16:37:00.002-06:00

What marvelous love the Father has extended to us! Just look at it—we're called children of God! That's who we really are....The way we know we've been transferred from death to life is that we love our brothers and sisters....This is how we've come to understand and experience love: Christ sacrificed his life for us....My dear children, let's not just talk about love; let's practice real love....My beloved friends, let us continue to love each other since love comes from God. Everyone who loves is born of God and experiences a relationship with God. The person who refuses to love doesn't know the first thing about God, because God is love—so you can't know him if you don't love. This is how God showed his love for us: God sent his only Son into the world so we might live through him. This is the kind of love we are talking about—not that we once upon a time loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to clear away our sins and the damage they've done to our relationship with God....My dear, dear friends, if God loved us like this, we certainly ought to love each other....But if we love one another, God dwells deeply within us, and his love becomes complete in us—perfect love....God is love. When we take up permanent residence in a life of love, we live in God and God lives in us. This way, love has the run of the house....We, though, are going to love—love and be loved. First we were loved, now we love. He loved us first....

~Selections from 1 John (The Message)

Catch Up Part 2

2009-12-17T12:24:00.002-06:00

Okay here is the Ball and my new polonaise. Not many good pics of the dress, but bear with me.
Janessa, Lissi and Me.
Me...again. ;)

Me and Elijah, Lissi's brother dancing. This is the best shot of the dress.

Catch Up Part 1

2009-12-17T11:57:00.003-06:00

Okay here we go. I'm gonna dive head long into this, because we have a lot of ground to cover. Starting with: Red RiverAwesome pic by Lissi. me in the background.

Another by Lissi.

Dadio. Our cook for the weekend.

Me and Sam, serving at the resturaunt.

Me, Sam, Evan, Janessa, and Lissi.

Books, don't ya love 'em?

2009-11-15T19:33:00.006-06:00

*Sighs* Oh how I love books. If you were to come to my house and meet me, you would be sure of this fact. And some of you have, and are. To me, to read is to breathe. There is no difference. Life without books wouldn't be life at all.
Arnold Lobel said,
"Books to the ceiling,
Books to the sky,
My pile of books is a mile high.
How I love them! How I need them!
I'll have a long beard by the time I read them."

And Charles Elliot,
"Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counsellors, and the most patient of teachers."

So why this random post on books, you ask? Well, I am reading a lot currently, and I have recieved a new book today.

#1. Crazy Love by Francis Chan http://crazylovebook.com/

This book is and most likely will change my view on how God's love is, has, and will be demonstated to his people.

This is one must read. Check out it's back cover:

"GOD IS LOVE.

Have you ever wondered if we're missing it? It's crazy, if you think about it. The God of the universe--The Creater of nitrogen and pine needles, galaxies and E-minor--loves us with a radical, unconditional, self-sacrificing love. And what is our typical response? We go to church, sing songs, and try not to cuss. Whether you've verbalized it yet or not...we all know something's wrong.

Does something deep inside your heart long to break free from the status quo? Are you hungry for an authentic faith that addresses the problems of our world with tangible, even radical solutins? God is calling you to a passionate love reationship with Himself. Because the answer to religious complacency isn't in working harder at a list of do's and don'ts--it's falling in love with God. And once you encounter His love, you will never be the same.

Because when you're wildly in love with someone, it changes everything."

#2. The Life Book by The Gideon's International https://www.thelifebook.com/index.php

There are 17.5 million high school students in the U.S. Studies say that only 4% of students are Bible-believing Christians, that means over 16 million high school students are missing God's gift of grace in Jesus Christ. Do you wish you could have a greater impact on the next generation? Getting involved with The Life Book Project allows you to help Christian students all over the U.S. saturate their schools with God's Word as they give The Life Book to their friends and classmates. How can you be involved? Go to the above link, or view, download, send a free copy of The Life Book here: https://www.thelifebook.com/get-the-lifebook.php

The life book is for students to hand out in their schools, organizations, sports clubs, and oher places where they can develope a relationship with those they give the book too. Find out more info at the website.

#3. By the Sword by Richard Cohen

Well, after the above two, I feel kinda out of place talking about this one. It's a boo about the history of swords. And it is entirely fascinating. Never had I known there was so much to a long piece of steel. Cohen tells his tale in a quirky, narritive way that captures and keeps hold of your attention. I picked this up becuase I needed to know about swords for my story, but I didn't plan on getting a history lesson. This book will definately inhabit my shelves for a long time after.

Anyways, hope you enjoyed this little book critique and gave you some interesting books to pick up soon. More to come from Fall Retreat soon, and Red River pics, and Dancing pics on their way this week!

Tid bits from Fall Retreat

2009-11-09T16:41:00.003-06:00

Spent this last weekend away in Kentucky fellowshipping with old friends, new friends, and The Greatest Friend. Four Sermons: Four Different Passages of scripture.

"The Original Nic @ Night" John 3, with special emphasis on John 3:16
"A Camel, a Needle, and a CEO" Matthew 19:16-30
"A Fat Dent" Isaiah 6
"Survival Kit Info" 1 Kings 19

I'm going to go through each of them during this week and share what God revealed to me. I'm not going in order, so bear with me. Here is #2:

The Rich Young Ruler asked Christ 3 questions. Notice where his emphasis lies.

"What good thing must I do to get eternal life?"
"Which [commandments] must I follow ?"
"What still do I lack?"

Nothing we could ever do could give us salvation. This guy comes running to the one who could do all this for him, and he asks what he has to do to earn his salvation. This is a guy who is used to earning things. He is rich. He has a high place in the temple. He has stuff.
But Christ asks him to follow the six commandments that have to do with your relationships with people.
"Do not murder, Do not steal, do not commit adultery, do not give false testimony, honor your father and mother, and love your neighbor as yourself."
This guy had money. He didn't have to steal, he could buy it. He could bribe people to do what he wanted, ect. He had "followed" these commands. So the guy asks what more must I do?
Christ replies,
"If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me."
Jesus knows that this guy just wants the easy way out. He wants to do what he can to get by, he doesn't want to sacrifice something for the one who made the Greatest Sacrifice.
This guy is justifying himself on external actions. If he sells everything he has, he will lose his position, power, authority, place in society, ect. He will be destitute and will have to rely on Christ, and accept the amazing gift that surviving off of God is.
But he doesn't. He just walks away. And Christ turns to his disciples and makes a very interesting remark.
"I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God."
In Jewish society, the camel is one of the most unclean animal in their culture. Christ is essentially saying "The path to heaven is narrow and it's gate small, nothing unclean gets past it."
Hearing this, the disciples are greatly concerned, for the Jews thought that wealth was a sign of God's blessing on your life. And while that maybe so, the Jews took it a step further in saying that if you were rich, you would have eternal life.
The Disciples panicked. They had grown up with this ideology. But they were dirt poor. They had left everything behind in following Christ. If this rich man can't get to heaven, how could they?
But Jesus responds with this,
"And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life. But many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first."
The Ruler had everything but lacked Jesus. The disciples had everything in Jesus, but were envious of what the Ruler had. Following Jesus isn't about "getting blessings". The reward for following Jesus, is Jesus. He is the only thing you can take with you to heaven.
After all, when was the last time you saw a herse with a U-haul attached to it? You can't take jack-nothin' with you when you die.

So who of the two was the richest in the end? The ruler, or the disciples?

For Lissi

2009-11-04T09:59:00.002-06:00

Found this and I couldn't resist posting it. This song is so sweet and amazing.

Florida 2009

2009-10-30T18:31:00.004-05:00

Well, I've finally found a lull in my day (or month as it were) to put some stuff up. So, here is the trip to Florida I took with Allison in September after my birthday.

Me and Lissie.

This is the dinner I made for us. Each of us cooked either lunch or dinner while we were down there. Lissi and I did dinner and the boys did lunch. I made chicken pot pie and fried apples. I have to admit, it was pretty good....especially the apples!

And here is Allison's. She made shrimp scampi (which was delicious by the way), green beans, salad, and garlic bread.

One day at the beach we had the idea to make Allison into a mermaid. So we did. And here is the finished project. We put seaweed around her for decoration, and on her head for a crown. It was tons of fun, but unfortunatly, the seaweed itched Lissi like crazy and her arm was really acky after laying like that for so long while we covered her in sand. A lot of people who walked by really liked it and took pictures!

The place where we stayed also had a neighborhood pool and we would go there when the beach got really windy and the currents became dangerous. Right to left: Elijah, me Lissi, and Lee.

The second day at the beach, Elijah and I decided to make a sand castle, which then turned into a contest between me and him, and Allison and Lee.

And the finished project: We won the "Best Aslan's How Look-a-like Award". Course, we were the only ones to build an Aslan's How Look-a-like. :) Oh well, it was fun and it really did look quite like it.

I had a great time and am so thankful to Lissi and her family for allowing me to go with them. Lissi teased me that I took the place of her guitar. ;) Hopefully some time this weekend or next week I'll have more pics up of Red River!!! Stay tuned.

So much for keeping on track...

2009-10-15T19:47:00.004-05:00

Sorry guys,......again. Things keep going way too fast for me too keep up with stuff. So, some more updates.

1. My Dad had surgery this past Wednesday on his back. Two of his lower vetebrae were sqeezing around his spinal cord, cutting off the circulation to his legs. As a result, his legs were falling asleep when he stood up for a while. Luckily the surgery went wonderful and he is alreay home and on his feet. Please continue to pray that his incessions don't become infected. The incession is causing him some minor pain, but his back is feeling better already.
2. My trip to Florida with Allison's family was soooo much fun! I have pictures and as soon as I can remeber where I placed my hard drive stick, they will be on here! ;)
3. My book is going good, however I will not be posting my book on here for copyright precautions. But, I will be posting snipits.
4. We went to Red River last weekend and had an amazing time. As soon as I get some pictures from Allison, you can be sure I will update extensively.
5. My cousin is now married and both Andrew and Kendall looked wonderful! My other cousin, Nathan will be marrying his fiancee, Robin, in January.
6. Upcoming events include the annual Thanksgiving trip to NC, Yule Fest in December, and Nathan's wedding in NC.

Stay tuned for more details. ;)

Happenings Number 2

2009-09-05T20:21:00.003-05:00

Okay, I am officially ashamed of my lack of attention to my blog! I'm becoming like some people I know who only post once a month!!!! ;) You know who you are!!!

Well, to begin with announcments:

1. I am having my birthday next week! YAY!!!

2. I am leaving for Florida next week with my dearest Lisi!!!!!! YAY!

3. I am writing a novel!!! That is probably the main reason why I haven't been posting as much. Every avaiable second I have on the laptop is consumed in writing my novel. Thankfully, I enjoy it and it is a lot of fun! When I start finishing chapters, I'll post them so you can read and critique!!!

4. I haven't even started making my Robe de l'angliese. A fact of which I am terribly ashamed. :( But I have recieved my silk from Sam, and it as absolutely lovely!!!!!

5. Last, but not least, I'M GONNA BE AN AUNT!!!!!!!! You heard me! God is blessing Josh and Lori with a precious bundle of joy due in March. So far, we have heard that the darling is four inches long, and has already been dubbed Waldo Kirby by the dearest's adoring parents!!! ;)

Now for upcoming projects:

1. Well, the Robe de l'angliese.

2. My silk neckerchief.

3. An embroidery floss holder. (Quite creative actually and I am very proud of it!)

Things to check out in the upcoming months:

1. More things to come on my political blog, Politically Incorrect on Purpose.

2. Another blog for my embroidery work. I will also have a way for you to contact me if you would like to have me do some for you. I will have more information on that soon.

3. Upcoming re-enactments and trips. Red River is around the bend and my second trip to Ohio this year is also coming up. November will also bring the annual Thanksgiving trip to NC.

4. And finally, pics from Florida!!!! Hope fully you will be entertained, but I can't promise anything! ;)

So, hopefully this will all hold you guys over for a few week while I catch my breath from all that is going on. Keep and eye out for what's to come!

Another Blog

2009-08-04T11:57:00.001-05:00

Hey guys. I am in the middle of preparing several new blogs that I am writing. They are a politics blog, and "project" blog, and I will hopefully soon be having an embroidery blog. The politics one is already up. Please check it out and follow! Click here:

http://politicallyincorrectonpurpose.blogspot.com

Enjoy!

What are men compared to rocks and mountains...?

2009-08-03T15:48:00.002-05:00

For I have learned
to look on nature, not as in the hour
of thoughtless youth: but in hearing often times
the still sad music of humanity,
nor harsh nor grating, though of ample power
to chasten and subdue. And I have felt
a presence that disturbs me with the joy
of elevated thought; a sense sublime
of something far more deeply infused,
whose dwelling is in the light of setting suns,
and the round ocean and the living air,
and the blue sky and in the mind of man;
a motion and a spirit that impels
all thinking things, all objects of thought,
and rolls through all things. Therefore am I still
a lover of the meadows and the woods,
and mountains; and of all that we behold
from this green earth; of all the mighty world
of eye, and ear-both what they half create,
and what perceive; well pleased to recognize
in nature and the language of the senses,
the anchor of my purest thoughts, the nurse,
the guide, the guardian of my heart, and soul,
of all my moral being.
-William Wordsworth

Well....

2009-07-26T15:10:00.003-05:00

Okay, I have good news and bad news:

Bad news first.

I have decided not to do the Regency dresses right now, but maybe later on in the future. Right now I want to focus on dresses I can wear in the 1775-1789 time slot, which means polonaises and in the case of my newest project, a Robe de l'anglaise.

Good news:

I have several pictures from movies and documented portraites of that time period showing this style of dress. I have another drawing of the one I want to make, but I will post that later with pictures of the fabric. Which brings me to another point. I have already bought the fabric to make this gown, so I would like to get it done first before the Regency dresses. This dress is very fancy and is more of a "special occasion" dress or as I would use it, a dance dress. My version is very militarical in style and is very clean cut. It actually has much of the style of the bodice of a riding habbit.

So here are the pictures, with captions. :)

This is an actual portrait done at the time. This dress encompases the entire design I want, however with a little less lace and more green.

This is from a movie called the Duchess which stars Keira Knightley. While I did not actually see this movie, there are some great costumes in it and photos of them are redily avaible. This is a jacket, where mine would be floor length, and the point comes lower than what I would like, but it shows very clearly the "triangular" design of the bodice, which is what I'm going for.
This is also the Duchess, in another dress in the same style. (She's on the right) I love the crossed neck scarf and the cameo.
Here is the above dress up close. The point is not as long as the jacket version and the colors here are beautiful. This is at an exhibit, and I don't like the way they did the scarf here.

So! There you have it. Later on today I'll scan the drawing of the dress and load the pics of the fabric for you guys. Enjoy!

New Project

2009-07-14T13:04:00.004-05:00

Okay, so I have been doing some Englsih Country Dancing every other Tuesday night and I have decided to make a few Empire dresses (or Regency as they are also known) to dance in and to just plain ol' dress up in. :) To those of you who are still confuzzled, I am making a few dresses that look like they walked out of a Jane Austen movie. They may look similar to Jane's dresses in Pride and Prejudice. I sketched out my designs and I wanted to post them all to so here we go.

Here is the first one. The main dress (underneath) is a simple day dress with a drawstring neckline. It will be out of a cream of light colored fabric with a faint/small print. It will have cupped sleeves. The outer part (jacket) buttons beneath the bustline with two fabric covered buttons out of the same fabric. The jacket will be either a pale green or a ligth blue/grey. I haven't decided yet, however I will take suggestions. The back of the jacket has three sets of double pleats, (Sam, Allison: The kind on the side of my long gown), giving it a very full back.

Because this is a day dress, it can be worn with or without the jacket. It instantly becomes a dress you would wear to a dinner party with the jacket. If you don't wear the jacket, you could put a bit of ribbon around the bust line for a sash to make a whole other dress.

Dress #2

For this dress, the jacket is worn again, but we have a different day dress worn underneath. This dress is very rouched and the front crosses over, clasping with a fabric covered button. The fabric is a very light weight gauzy kind and will probably be white. The sleeves are just above the elbows. This dress can also be worn without the jacket and with a ribbon/sash. This one is designed to be a ball gown or dressier one when worn without the jacket.

So there you have it! My teo new projects for the end summer/early fall. I hope to buy the fabric soon, so please make any suggestions asap. I wanted these dresses tio be very versatile. With the jacket, I get four dresses instead of two! Let me know what you guys think!

July 4th Celebration

2009-07-08T18:10:00.006-05:00

Well, my family decided to celebrate the 4th of July in a little different than the normal American family. Especially in the fact that we do re-enactments. So, last Saturday, we went down to Mansker's Station for the day and "par-tehd". :)

This is the official Mansker's Station jam band. Minus Daddy (dead center) who picked up the guitar, sa down and started playing with them. Ms. Laura is on the extreme right. There were guitars, dulcimers, madolins, and a violin.

The Lovely Daddy. Pardon the Sprite cans. The site fed the volunteers lunch. :)
Here is Janessa (in the blue jacket, dead center) dancing a dance called the Whipporwill. This is one of our favorite dances and it has a lot of twirls. Sam is in the background in the blur dress.

Here I am (in the red jacket) and so is Sam. By the way, that jacket is brand new and I love it! It's a long gown that I made from a linen tablecloth. It has two pleats in the back and tripled pleats at the side. Very fashionable. ;)

Me and Sam again.

Me in the background with my partner. Now you can see me from the front.
This is one little pic I like to call:

Clash of the Centuries

We have an Abraham Lincoln impersinator new here and they had him come and speak. He was very good and we all love him. He is very funny and sweet. At the dances, he tried to get partners for the standing girls left. One time he has come out and borrowed 18th century clothes and fought in an Indian Skirmish we had. It was a lot of fun and he claimed to be representing Abe's grandfather. ;)

Hope you all had a safe and wonderful 4th of July.

God Bless.

Brace Face

2009-06-30T15:10:00.004-05:00

BEFORE @ 9:10 am

AFTER @ 10:15 YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Part V cont.

2009-06-30T14:41:00.004-05:00

Okay, so on our way back from Ohio, we stopped in Lexington, KY to go to the Lexington Horse Park.

They had these monstrous chairs made from old cross country jumps and we had to get a picture......or more.

Daddy and Mumsie

Janessa and Me acting grumpy...well just me acting.

Us two posed all nicely.

Definately a Christmas letter pic.

Oh, come on. They are too real! Have a little imagination!!

Janessa riding a barrell.

One of the horses shown to us. I can't remember is name because they all looked alike. I just like these two best.
This was a "Horses of the World" show.
Some of the riders practicing their show jumping.

Even more to come

Part V: OHIO

2009-06-30T14:18:00.006-05:00

When I hear the word "Ohio" I think of that patriotic song they make you learn the states to in elementary school where they go..." Ohhh-Hyyyy-Yo!".

Anywho, sorry for keeping you guys waiting for so long. Been really busy. But today I have a triple installment because a lot has happened since June 15th. (That was appearently the last day I posted in case you were wondering, which you weren't. So I should shut up now.)

For you lovely education (of nothing inparticular) I will provide you with some marvelous pictures of my time in Ohio. Meet my wonderlous (yes, I ended that with "-lous") family.

Here are two of my adorable cousins (the one on the left is taken, sorry). Andrew (left) is the second oldest and Stephen (right) is the baby. He graduated from highschool this year. (That's why we went to Ohio)
Here they are with their parents: (l to r) Andrew, Aunt Marilyn, Stephen, Uncle Martin. Uncle Martin is my mother's older brother.
Here they are again: (l to r) Uncle Martin, Stephen, Mumsie, and Aunt Charlotte, Mumsie's sister.
And here we are. SHOCKER!!!!! Janae got her hair cut!!! Yes, if you haven't already seen me, I got my hair cut in Ohio. It's a cute little bob and it feels great. Now back to the pic. Me, Stephen, and Janessa.

And this pic, I just couldn't resist!!!!! This is Lizz, Andrew and Stephen's sister (she's in between them in age) She is a hairdresser and is the one who cut my hair there. This is at a Relay for Life event we went to and that Lizz participated in. Our grandmother died from cancer. Her shirt says "Running With Scissors" since she ran with a bunch of hair dressers. We had just eaten a frozen custard/slushi thing and our tongues were, obviously, blue. Lizz is awesome!!!!

More to come.

Part IV: The Creation Science Museum

2009-06-15T21:13:00.006-05:00

Okay, this place was absolutly amazing!!! If you have never been, you have to go! We went the week after the camping trip on our way to Ohio. Here are some pics.

This is Daddy and Janessa at the Garden of Eden part. (Adam and Eve are in the background.)
Here is the exhibit of the Ark. This was pretty cool! The men are supposed to be building the ark but their voice over hears them complaining about the work and saying that it's never gonna rain. :)

Here are some of the most important figures in the Old Testament: Abraham, Moses, and King David.
Dear Reader,
We are terribly sorry to say that soona fter this picture was taken, my dear sister, Janessa, was unfortunately, consumed by the terrible beast shown in the above picture. We feel this lose deeply as we ourselves only barely escaped with our lives. Funeral Services will be held some time in the near future and donations can be made in place of flowers, at the Foundation for Better Safety Against Pre-historic Animals or the F.B.S.A.P.A.

Part III: The Big Incident

2009-06-14T15:18:00.005-05:00

So often I get in a rut. bad things happen or things don't go the way I would like, too many frustrating things happen in one day. I've learned to cope with it thouh. I call it my sour attitude. (those of you who know me well, know what I'm talking about :))Literally, it is a very sour attitude. I get frustrated and let it out on my family. From the little things like, none of my organic peanut butter being left, to mom not buying me a pair of adorable blue suede pumps even though the price was a steal. Though none of these things will affect my life, both spiritually and physically in the long run, they make my day sour. Or rather my attitude. These are the days that satan (yes, a little "s". Mwahahah!!) likes to push my buttons. I let the little things bother me and in the end, I ruin my witness for Christ.

So recently, with Least of These and other events that have the run of my life, I feel like I'm caught in a battle amist what is commonly (amongst Christians) known as Spiritual Warfare. Now, I know that somethings that happen are purely human choice and reaction. (like me not needing those pumps or someone unknowingly eating my peanut butter) But when we went camping, too many things went wrong in one day for it to be anyting other than spiritual warfare.

On our last day of camping, we decided to go for a bike ride and then a hike before heading home. The bike ride was beautiful! The trail was well kept and flowers were blooming all along th way. Mountain Laurel and Flaming Azaelias were everywhere. The air was a nice, cool, refreshing 65* F. The trail went around a lake and the sun finally decided to come out after being cloudy for the last two days. The experience was only slightly hindered by my bruised coxix. :) But overall I had a wonderful time.

So your thinking, "This sounds all lovey dovey! Where's the warfare?!?!?" Don't worry it's coming!

After the ride, we went back to where we were staying and I put on some jeans to prevent ticks for the hike. Ready to go, we set out for the Cable Trail, the shortest, and most strenuous trail in the park. Steep cliffs, boulders, and abundant tree roots made up the trail that was more of a drop than anything else. A thick steel cable ran from top to bottom to serve as a rail, or a repelling rope depending on which part of the trial you were on.

The initial hike down, while difficult, wasn't that bad. When we got to the bottom, (Which ended at a large creek fueled by a waterfall on you left) Daddy, adventurous as always, decided to wade across to the other side.

First of all, there are several things wrong with this idea:

The creek had a very strong current and is two to five feet deep depending on where you step.

The creek is filled with rocks, covered in moss which the park ranger assured me was over 2 million years old ;). ie, very slippery.

We're all wearing tennis shoes.

I'm still wearing my jeans, remember!!!!

But Daddy, who could care less, (love you Dad! :)) decided we were all going across anyways. Taking off their shoes and socks, Janessa and Daddy got right in and slowly waded across the haphazard rocks to the other side, taking my little backpack (containing my camera) with them. Daddy also took my shoes (hanging across his neck) with him. I had decided to just dip my feet in the water from the side I was already on. But Dad thought it would be fun if we were all over there.

So, he began searching for a way to get across, where the current was less strong and not as deep. After about twenty minutes, I gave up and crossed father down the creek (don't ask me how I did it, because no one should ever do it at home, at least the way I did it) where the current was even stronger and the creek was deeper!!! What was I thinking!?!?!? Well, I got across with out incedent and was making my way with Daddy back up to the bank where Janessa was waiting for us so we could go over to the waterfall. (This was the whole point. Cross the creek and get a picture while under the waterfall.)Helping me across a rather slippery rock, Dad turned his back for one split second to get Janessa, when, to my utter horror, I slipt and fell, backside first into the creek. In the freezing cold water. In my favorite jeans. That were new. (Yes, this actually happened) I was not a happy camper. Just before this, I had recieved a horrid stomach ache and wasn't feeling too good. Now, I was wet, and cold, and tired, and grumpy. Not a Happy camper at all!!! So I resorted to my sour mood.

When we finally made it to a rock where they had left my backpack, I was throroughly soaked. They decided they would go on a see the waterfall up close. I didn't budge from my rock. I was going to sulk in my own self-pity.

After about twenty minutes, I crawled out of the rock, which was sulkiness, that I was under and noticed that Daddy and Janessa had reached the waterfall. It was beautiful!

(That's Daddy-the tiny person on the rock, by the waterfall)
So after lying on the sun for a while, my mood was starting to get better. (I'll hurry up now.) But when we crossed again, I fell once more. Daddy tried to toss my shoes to Janessa, but they too landed in the water. (I hate wet tennis shoes with a fiery passion!!) So, I had to climb all the way back up the trail and walk back to the bathrooms before I could change and we could go. Not the best way to end a good time. But hey, I got some awesome pictures, huh? :)

Part II: The Beauty of It All

2009-06-13T15:14:00.003-05:00

This is one of many rope bridges we crossed throughout the park.

This shot is the colored version of the one I shared with you earlier. It is at a place called Buzzard's Bluff. Perched on a craggy cliff, it has a perfect view of all the surrounding area and is simply breathtaking.

This is looking directly straight on Buzzard's Bluff

We used the self timer for this pic! Once again at Buzzard's Bluff.

Another rope bridge. This one walked over the tree tops and the cascades.

More to come!

Okay, here we go....

2009-06-13T14:10:00.003-05:00

I'm back!

Yay!!!! Okay, so here is the first installment.

My dad decided to take me and Janessa camping a Fall Creek Falls for three days. We drove in his Jeep Wrangler. Here are some pics. I'll tell about it as they come.

Part 1: The Camping Trip

--------------------------------------------

This is Fall Creek Falls itself. I took this pic from a look out above. After this, we took the trail (which was more like a climb) down to the base.

Along the way, we say come pretty cool trees. Often they were growing right out of the rocks, like this one.

This was awesome! The rocks caved in a formed a half-dome around us. The sedimentary rock there was incredible. All the different layers to view, and to know that they were all layed down by the flood; it was just mind blowing.

This is Janessa and I at the bottom of the falls (and one of the few pics with me in it, I'm afraid. Dad was lucky to figure my camera out enough just to take this one!). Yes, Janessa is slouching. I'm not. That is my normal height. :)

And finally, Janessa, being herself as God created her to be. ;) If you have seen Night at the Museum II, you know what we mean by this pose. :)

Wait, one more, I couldn't resist this one!

2009-05-30T19:16:00.000-05:00

I'm back, and this is all I'm giving you until I return from Ohio...hehe

2009-05-30T19:07:00.003-05:00

Yes, I took this myself,.....with my crummy camera.....now you can admire its awesomeness...

Soooo Sorry!

2009-05-18T09:58:00.003-05:00

Wow! It's been a while and I apologize. Things have been really crazy and will continue to get worse this summer. (Worse in a good way. I like being busy!) My friend Allison mentioned on her blog that I was starting a new phase in the calling God has placed on my life. While this is true, and I want to post about it, I can't get a video that explains everything up on here, so you will have to wait on that until I can get one of my tech savy friends to upload it. But first I have some announcements:

I will not be doing the next WIFD. Things are a little too hectic as is without having to take pics of myself every morning and post them. Sorry! You can still enjoy what the other girls post if you follow the link on your right.
I will be gone starting May 30th for my cousin's graduation until June 8th.

Now for things to look for in the near future:

Allison and I are now going down to Manskers by ourselves, so look for pictures of that.
According to the countdown clock on the right, my next re-enactment is coming up. I will also have pics of that.
As soon as I can load that video, there will be information regarding The Least of These, my mission group I am starting.
School is out! Summer pics will be flooding this blog!

Lastly, I have a few things I would like you to petition the Lord about on my behalf.

The Least of These. While on to a good start, I am encontering some spiritual war fare regarding this. Please pray for strength and courage. While I may be headstrong, I am not bold; I am a people pleaser and this isn't helping.
Two of my cousins are getting married! Yay!!!

Thank you all for being so patient. I will try to post more reguarly as soon as all this clears up a bit.

Au Revior,

Janae Janna

Serious

2009-04-27T15:16:00.003-05:00

Do you ever get the feeling
People think you're crazy
'Cause you trust what they can't see
Do you ever get the feeling
People think you're shallow
And you will change what you believe
But I'm not here to argue
About what others think and feel
'Cause I'm not ashamed to tell anyone
What I know to be real

I'm serious about the stand
I'm taking Serious about the choice I'm making
Serious about the things that I believe
I'm serious about the talk I'm talking
what the evidence is and the walk I'm walking
Serious about love and purity
I'm serious as I can be

I'm not the first to meet with laughter
And resistance from a disbelieving crowd
But I got to meet it head on
I'm just gonna keep on
Won't let it get me down
I'm not here to give up
Jesus didn't give up on me
Even when the goin' gets rough
I've promised God that I'll be

Serious about the stand I'm taking
Serious about the choice I'm making
Serious about the things that I believe
I'm serious about the talk I'm talking
what the evidence is and the walk I'm walking
Serious about love and purity
I'm serious as I can be

Won't change my mind
Got to close the door
No time for goin' back
To what I had before
I'm so tired of playin' all these games
'Cause the more I see what
You mean to me
The more I want to say

-"Serious" by Joy Williams

Need I say more?

2009-04-17T11:00:00.001-05:00

Spring Encampment

2009-04-14T16:22:00.005-05:00

Finally! A picture for you guys! Thanks for being so patient. This was scanned out of a newspaper which explains the funky quality. There is a story behind how the photorapher caught me this way. I was actually watching the militia muster and raising of the flag early Saturday morning. Something caught my eye and I looked away, right into the lens of the camera guy! I jumped and apologized laughing. He laughed and said it was alright. Then he asked me to "re-pose". So I did. I had no idea he worked for the newspaper! I thought he was just a tourist! Oh well. This the bake oven up at the house. From left to right: Janessa, our friend Evan, and Mumsie. My mom runs the bake oven and we do make bread, cookies, biscuits, cornbread, cakes and cobbler all inside. It works quite well and the food is of course delicious!

I borrowed this pic from my friend Jessica over at http://anthonycourter.blogspot.com

We (mainly I with a lot of help, since I was the only one who had made it before ina churn) were making butter. Janessa (on the left) decided to give it a try. From left to right: Janessa, Jessica, and Me. We did this on the porch of the house. It took about an hour and a half to make about four cups of butter from a gallon or so of cream.

I love doing this. Churning butter and baking is one of my favorite things to do at Mansker's. By the way, we were also making baked apples during this time and Jessica was making cooked greens. So much fun!!

WIFD

2009-04-12T14:30:00.004-05:00

So, it looks like I will be doing WIFD every month. In order to save me the strain of posting the same thing on two blogs, I will put a link to the side bar and if you want to follow what I wear in my WIFD's, you can check it out there. The next WIFD is April 19th to 25th. Until then!

I know, I know....

2009-04-10T15:32:00.003-05:00

I know, I was supposed to post pics of Spring Encampment....two weeks ago. Sorry. My family decided to start Spring Cleaning and the entire house has been pulled apart and put back together. (not literally *grin*) We have organized, gotten rid of, cleaned and now we are in the midst of a gigantuan garage sale. Fun fun. Oh well, I ahve made some money, so that's always nice. I am tring to post a cool little tidbit for you, and it will probably be up some time tonight. Anyways, everyone have a wonderful Good Friday in the remebrance of what our Savior sacrificed for our freedom.

Change

2009-04-01T12:37:00.003-05:00

Happy April!!! I love April. It's such a nice name and everything is so pretty. You probably have noticed that I changed the blog background again. Sorry, but the other one just wasn't workin' for me. I like changing things up allthe time anyways. Ask anyone of my friends and they will confirm that I re-arnage my room about every other month (or oftener) and every once in a while, I change my handwriting. I am constantly changing my hairstyle too! :) I just like to be *unpredictable*. :) Pics of Spring Encampment are coming up. Stay tuned!!!

Happenings

2009-03-29T16:44:00.003-05:00

Last weekend was my cousin's birthday and we visited an animal re-habitilization center. I twas really neat and they had some baby lambs that we so cute!!!! Here are some pictures.

From right to left: Mrs. Jan, me and Mr. Chewby (the lamb), Kayley my cousin and Barltey the dog, Natalie (Kayley's friend), and Janessa with Bony Marony(the other lamb.

This is me with a raccoon there named Accoona. She has a sister named Matata. They were so sweet and cute! We fed them sugar cubes and marshmellows.

WIFD Day 5-7

2009-03-29T16:42:00.003-05:00

Yay!!! Finally back with technology. To those who guess, yes I was at a re-enactment! Good answers!!! I didn't have a bucket load of pics like I promised, but I might get more on my blog when people start sending me pics they took. Anyways here is one that my sister took of me in the cabin we stayed at this weekend. No one was looking so we snapped this one real quick.

To inform you, I will explain everything I have on from top to bottom. To begin with, I have my hair in afrench braid and the ends done in a bun. I wore my good cotton cap on top. Underneath everything I wear a white cotton shift, kinda like a nightgown and my natural colored linen petticoat on the bottom. The short gown (my top, sort of like a jacket) is pale blue cotton/linen mix and is pinned at the right shoulder. I am wearing a white cotton pin-up apron with the corner tucked in. The red thing around my shoulders is called a modesty scarf and is a cotton gauze dyed in a reddish wine color. The necklace is a red silk ribbon with the key to my trunk on the end. I have a knife tyed to my waist. (everyone on the frontier in 1783 carried a knife.) I have pearl dangly earings on. Althought you can't see them, I have on purple and grey stripped socks and elk leather moccosins my dad made. I made my entire costume and wore this the entire weekend. I love going to re-enactments and taking on an entire new persona. I portray a wealthy young widow who came out west looking for land. (that's why I have jewelry, a rareity) Anyways, I hope you enjoyed my little surprise!

WIFD Day 5

2009-03-26T16:46:00.002-05:00

Okay, sorry for no pic again, but my camera died and I haven't gotten batteries for it yet.I have a confession to make: My fellow WIFDees, I have worn pants today. I know, don't throw any tomatoes, now. Since we have our homeschool co-op on Thurdays, it is much more practical to wear pants. I tried wearing a skirt last time on Thursday, but it did not work out very well. So today I wore a pair of dressy Gap blue jeans that I got from Goodwill for $3, My ROCK (co-op) shirt, and my dark blue and red galloshes I got from thrift store for a dollar (it was raining this morning). I brought my black Blowfish sneakers that I got from Rugged wearhouse for $3, to wear inside the building. I french braided my hair in two braids and flipped the ends into little buns. I wore my spoon ring, cross necklace, purity ring (which I usually don't mention cause I never take it off), and my prayer box earings.Announcment: Starting tomorrow morning, I will be without access to a computer for the rest of the weekend. I will take pictures, but you will have to check back here on Sunday for a whole truck load of pics. What I will be wearing is the surprise. I will give you guys a few hints:

1. If you check out my blog, you may find out some info about what I am doing, and I also mention it under my profile (it's one of my favorite things to do).

2. I don't think anyone else here does this.

3. What you wear is really important to what I do.

4. It involves learning.

There you go! I can't wait to see who gets the closest guess!!! Until Sunday! -Janae

WIFD Day 4

2009-03-26T16:45:00.002-05:00

Sorry, but I don't have a picture today. I'll tell you what I wore instead.We went shopping this morning so I wore a mid calf length army green skirt that I got from Goodwill for $3. It still had it's original tags on it and was priced at $180 from Chico's. This is one of my favorite bargains! It was an absolute steal!! I wore a grey tank top and a white henley top with it. The tank top I got from Goodwill for $1.50 and the henley from Walmart for $3. I also wore a pair of brown suede ballet flats by Rocket Dogs that I got for $12. (I am willing to pay a little more for shoes. ) Like usual, I wore my cross necklace, prayer box earings and my spoon ring. Right now, I am changed into something a little more comfortable. I have church tonight and the waether is really depressing: all rainy, wet, and cold. I have on the same blue jean skirt form yesturday, the grey tank top from this morning, and a hoodie I got from Lifeway last weekend on clearance for $7. I still have on the same jewelry, but I am wearing my bright red Converse sneakers tonight. I just did my hair in a flip bun all day since it wasn't coorperating with me.

WIFD Day 2 or 3: you decide

2009-03-24T13:04:00.003-05:00

Okay, this has to be one of my favorite outfits to wear so far this spring. I just feel soooo pretty today and I have had an AMAZING day so far. Anywho, I have on the jean skirt I got from Goodwill from last time. I cut the tag off, so I don't know the brand. The top is Forever 21 that I got at Goodwill two years ago. It is a creamy peach color with coral and green calico on it. It is cup sleeved with a turtle neck collar. The belt came with my sister's jeans (she didn't like it and gave it to me). It is leather with a rose pattern engraved in it. I really like big buckle belts. They're so fun! I have on my cross necklace and prayer box earings from last time too.By the way, the reason most of my pics are in this hallway, is because I do my camera on self timer and a certain shelf in the hallway is just the right size to get a good pic. This way, my mom and sister aren't obligated to take a pic for me everyday. Sorry if I rambled on. I am going out today and wanted to look cute, so here is!

What is your view on feminimity?

2009-03-24T12:47:00.000-05:00

Since I promised some more of the challenging stuff, here is a post I out on another website a while back on what I beleive in accordance to Biblical feminimity. There was a whole argument about staying at home or being a working mom, and so I just gave my argument for maybe a little of both.

Ooookay……wow. To tell you the truth, I was just the same feministic-independent-don’t let any boy stop me-kind of gal. I wanted to be an archectect(spelling?) and live on my own and go as far away for college as possible. All I can say is that God has truly changed my heart. Infact, there is no way I could have come to this belief on my own. It was a work of the Holy Spirit guiding me to God’s will for my life. If you think that this list exemplifies a life of drugery and having babies, hold it sister! Florence Nitingale may have left the role of a mother and subservient wife, but she became a servant to God which is an even higher calling. And she’s not the only one. So did Mother Theresa and others. Don’t think I am narrow minded. I plan on going to college and getting a Phd. I alsoplan on getting married and having a very large family. And if it’s God’s plan, homeschooling them. I plan on being a well educated, smart, loyal wife who loves her husband and realizes her biblical position in the relationship. In the mean time, I will serve my father and my Lord to the best of my abilities, spending my time in waiting with God use to further the Kingdom of God. No where in the Bible does it say, “Don’t educate your wife, for she is merely a dumb beast.” NO! In fact the Virtuous Wife in Proverbs 31 was said to “speak wise words” and she is “respected by the people”. No does it say that being a tomboy is wrong: “She does her work with energy and her arms are strong” in verse 17 and again “She is strong” verse 25. There is nothing wrong with being athletic and strong. What is wrong is when we strive to be like men and want masculinity more than a strong femininity. Deborah was a warrior and a judge! But she was also a wife and maybe even a mother. God called women to be warriors of a different kind. A warrior of words and of love. After all, the strongest weapon you have is the word of God, and His love. God has called us as women to be an example of his love. Mothers can love like nobody’s buisness. It is said that a mother’s love has no bounds. Is this not true also of God?Therefore, my sisters in Christ, I urge you to not fall to the demeaning standard of feminimity that exist today. All they want is to be the same as men. Why should we be? God made us as women. Why change his perfect creation that He has made in the likness of himself? Ask yourself this question, “Why am I striving to be equall or like a man/boy? And in reality is this reason helping you in the two greatest comissions as Christians?: Drawing closer to God, and showing the world His love. In truth, nothing else matters. Not you outlook on life, femininity, marriage, children, education, anything. Be strong in who God created you as: A woman. And to be honest, would you really rather be a man? :) Here are some resources you might find interesting:
1. Set-Apart Femininity by Leslie Ludy
2. When God Writes Your Love Story by Leslie and Eric Ludy
3. Authentic Beauty by Leslie Ludy
4. Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge
5. Generation Esther by Lisa Ryan
I hope I haven’t offended anyone or stepped on any toes. May God bless you and keep you.

There you go! Hope you found something in it.

WIFD Day 1 (again)

2009-03-23T09:16:00.003-05:00

Man, I feel so bad! I forgot all about WIFD yesturday. Farkletush. Today I'm just around the house, so I wore the white "twirly" skirt from last time that I got from Goodwill. It's Old Navy and one of my favorites. The top is a hand-me-down from the daughter of a lady my mom knows and it from Wet Seal. It is army green and navyy striped. I have some earing one that are little cirles dangling off a chain. I straightened my hair yesturday and decided to leave it down and do nothing with it today because it still looked nice. I am so excited to do this again and I have a surprise this weekend for all of you. Anyone care to guess? :) Good luck.

To do...

2009-03-19T14:47:00.004-05:00

Enjoy the new Spring layout and song. Several things are going to be happening over the next few weeks so look for updates.

Most importantly, next weekend is the Spring Encampment at Mansker's Station and I hope to be able to get pictures. I will be redoing my polonaise (the orange one) instead of making a whole new one (time constraints). Look for pictures.

Next, Spring break is just around the corner and I have nothing to do. Please, send suggestions. :) Also, with Spring Break comes Easter!!!! I'll have info with that.

I hope to post more about the Prayer Day, maybe even a video if I can find time to let it load on here.

Next week I am doing another WIFD. So look for some more cute outfits from a bargain shopper. This time, It is not required to wear dresses and skirts, just feminine modest outfits. Meaning, I may wear some shorts and pants, but they will be modest and feminine. Which is what really counts afterall.

Since Spring Encampment falls on the same weekend of WIFD, some of my outfits will be in petticoats and short gowns and polonaise. Get over it. It's modest and would have been very nice clothing for 1783! :)

Anyways, enjoy the new layout and song and look forward to what is to come!

Happy Patty's Day!!!!!!

2009-03-17T07:41:00.005-05:00

Happy St. Patrick's Day everyone!!! Remember to wear green; don't want to get pinched do you? :) I love this day. It's full of laughter and fun. Besides, green is one of my favorite colors. There's something so lush and vibrate about green. Something so full of life. Well, anyways, have a great day and enjoy the new background and music. It's only here for today.

Don't live for God

2009-03-11T21:34:00.005-05:00

Okay, so the title sounds a little like treason, especially for a Christian.
What?!? Not live for Christ?!?! Are you crazy????
Yes. And, ....... no.

Think about it. Does God really need us to live for Him?
"Please, I beg of you... live for me!!! I don't know how I'm going to survive with out your support!!"
Yeah, right. That's not the All Powerful, All Knowing God that we know him to be. He's perfectly fine without us.
But God gave His son.
And He wants us to know what an amazing gift that is for us.
It changes our lives.
It frees us.

So, .... what if we lived our lives....because of God.

Not for Him.

Live our lives because of what He did.

Isn't that freeing? To know that no matter what we did, can do, or will do, we can live our lives because of Him?

So often we get caught up in the pretense that we are doing some big favor for God by,
"Living our lives for God" or "Leading people to Him" or even worse "Winning souls".

Notice how when we say those things, we focus on what we are doing. Not what God is using us to do. God doesn't need our help. But He chooses to use us, so that we may be blessed and completely overwhelmed by Him filling us as vessels to carry the Living water to the thirsty.

When someone gives you a drink, do you thank the cup, or the person giving it to you?
Do you see what I'm getting at?

God should be getting the glory for what happened that "day at VBS", but instead people sit around bragging about how many people they "led to Christ".

Mike Donehey of Tenth Avenue North puts it perfectly:

Could you imagine what that would look like?
A bunch of people that no longer live for God but because of God?
I mean, think about how terribly liberating that is!
You don’t have to earn a thing.
You don’t have to perform for anyone.
You don’t even have to go and win souls for God.
You just need to know that you’re already accepted, and live like you actually believe it.
Think about it.
A people that praise Him because of who He is.
Doing things because of what He has done.
A church that loves, and forgives, because He first loved them.
Oh how beautiful that would be.

Casting Crowns says it perfectly when speaking of living a life with God in
the driver's seat:
People aren't confused by the Gospel
They are confused by us
Jesus is the only way to God
But we are not the only way to Jesus
This world doesn't need my tie, my hoodie,
My denomination or my translation of the Bible
They just need Jesus
We can be passionate about what we believe
But we can't strap ourselves to the Gospel
Because we are slowing it down
Jesus is going to save the world
But maybe the best thing we can do
Is just get out of the way
Did you hear that? God can save the world, whenever, however, and in whatever manner He chooses. But we must be there waiting to do His will. Not playing around with the tools, so that He has to fix the tools first, before He can fix the world.
Be a vessel.
Thank the giver, not the cup.
Live a life because of God.

Check this out

2009-03-11T12:48:00.003-05:00

Check this out right now! I'm not some big fan girl of Tenth Avenue North, but their lead singer has a blog that is inspiring and really challanging. This will really turn your head and how you think about living for Christ.

http://tenthavenuenorth.com/blog/2009/02/28/dont-live-for-god-chapter-6-continued/

.......

2009-03-10T18:47:00.003-05:00

Hey guys,
Sorry about the lack of posts. Things have been really crazy this past week and a half. I have to run the house (dishes, laundry, cooking), try to get my school work done, take care of Janessa (who has become sick), and try and keep Daddy happy. It's been nuts. I hope to be able to post more about the prayer day after all of this (next week hopefully), and would like to be able to post more about my sewing projects and upcoming re-enactments. Thank you for all your prayers and support over the last few days. The food especially has been appreciated. You all are such a blessing to me and my family. Thank God for you all.
Until a moment when I have more time,
Janae

Update 2

2009-03-08T16:20:00.003-05:00

Okay, sorry I haven't posted any info for a while, but I am now. Here we go.

My grandfather came out of his first surgery fine. The found out the the artery(90% one) was actually 95% blocked. He was in ICU, and his blood pressure was jumpng around, but theysaid that is normal for this type of surgery. However, yesturday we found out that he had a dormant MERSA (really bad staff infection) in his nose. The surgery kinda "awakened" it. Luckily, they were able to keep it confined to his nose, and he went home last night. If everything goes okay, they will do the next surgery either tomorrow or Tuesday. Hopefully Momma will come home on Saturday. Thank you all so much for your prayers, food, and transportation of Janessa and I. We really appreciate you letting us invade your homes and cars! :) You all are such a blessing to us.

Update on grandfather

2009-03-04T08:07:00.001-06:00

Well, new info has come. My mom is flew down to Florida this morning at six, and will be staying there until next Saturday or later depending on how things go. Here is a medical view on what has happened:
Two arties in his neck are clogged with a build up of some sort. When this build up starts to chip off, and get into his bloodstream, it can cause massive strokes and death. Well, some of it chipped off, but it was a minor stroke. One arterie, though, is 90% blocked. You can imagine the potential of this. The other one is 70% blocked. Each arterie goes to a different side of the brain. The doctors need to open up his arterie and clean out the build up. They can only do one arterie at a time, because if you cut off both arteries, you basically become brain dead. The doctors hope to clean out the first arterie (90% one) on Thursday and the other one (70%) next Tuesday. Hopefully, no more build up will chip off before or during surgery. This is the important worry.
Please send your prayers.

Need Urgent Prayer

2009-03-03T13:16:00.003-06:00

I have just found out my Grandad just had a stroke. He is in the hospital in Florida and is not looking good. He will need sugery. My mom is planning to fly out down there at six tomorrow morning. The doctors have to open up his main artery in his neck. This morning he was nauseous (sp.?) and threw up. He is also on blood thinners to reduce the chance of clots. Momma doesn't know how long she will be down there. He is turning eighty this May and has normally lived a very healthy life. He has diabeties, but manages it w/out insuline. Please pray for him and my family as we cope w/out mom. Janessa and I will have to take on new responsiblities in addition to trying to fufill a heavy school load. Please pray that God will guide the surgeons' hands and the doctors as they care for him. Out of my nine grandparents, he is one of two left. Others have died of strokes, and I hope he won't be added to that list. He has remarried about eight/nine years ago and his sweet wife is taking this very hard (both of their previous spouses have already died.). We will need the Father's everlasting peace during this hectic and chaotic time.

Prayer Day Part 1

2009-03-02T16:15:00.006-06:00

Okay, You are going to have to bear with me. Because of the amount of photos, I will be dividing this up into parts, so stay tuned for sequels.

Two Saturdays ago, Allison and I spent a day in prayer and reflection. We sought after God's will for our lives, prayed for our parents, friends, country, president, future husbands, schools, siblings, each other, a camp I am thinking about going on, other countries around the world with Christians under persecution, and that our blogs would be effective tools of the Lord's to reach His people. In so saying, we payed for everything.

We started out praying silently standing up, holding each other's hands. During this time, I prayed for Allison. As for Allison, well, you'll have to ask her. :) Then, taking turns we prayed out loud about the aforementioned stuff. So many times when Allison was taking her turn, I would become impatient; I wanted it to be my turn again. This may sound funny, but anyone who knows me personally can testify that I don't exactly like praying outloud. But as we began praying, I had this wondrous feeling that I can't describe, but all I wanted to do was pray more and more and more! The words just started flowing from my lips as I told my Creator about the trials and diffulculties in my life. I stopped "praying" and, for the first time in my life, started having a real and meaningful conversation with my Abba.

Before we set out, Allison's mom snapped this picture of us. We were loaded down with balnkets and cocoa. It's was supposed to rain and ws very windy, but more on that in the next installment. Me making a list of things to pray for, so I don't forget.

This is where we were at. It is on a hill at Allison's house way out in the country. We chose this spot because you couldn't really see any houses or other distractions from there.

WIFD Day 7

2009-02-28T15:33:00.003-06:00

I know, I know. I'm wearing pants. Sorry but the weather here in TN has jumped from Thursday's mild sixties to a chilling 30 and snow is in the forcast (yeah right, in TN? Hah!!). Anyways, I have no really warm skirts and we have been out all day. So, I wore my fav pair of jeans and dressed up the rest of my outfit. The jeans are Old Navy and a hand-me-down from my sister that she got at Goodwill. They are really broken in and comfy. The top is a rose sweater from Target that I got at Goodwill. I love this sweater. It isn't too tight around the middle, but nice and snug at the arms. It is really soft and I have even slept in it before! :) The jacket is cream corderoy and is from the GAP. I got it at Goodwill. I blow dryed my hair today and instead of pinning up my bangs, I brushed them in with the rest of my hair. They are getting long enough to do this. I wore a pair of pink chanderlier earings that one of my friends gave me because "she had too much jewelry". :) I also have on my cross necklace. I took this picture in my room in front of the mirror. I write on my mirror, so that's why there are words along the left side of it. It's Psalms 139: 13-14.

WIFD Day 6

2009-02-28T15:32:00.005-06:00

WOW! I can't believe it's almost over! I hope we do this every month! Although, I will be glad to be back in jeans and not have to shave my legs everyday! :) I have come to love skirts even more than before, but for somethings, jeans are rather practical. :) Anyhoo, This picture was taken in my room at my desk (sorry for the poor lighting). Once again I have on leg warmers. These are blue knit with a triangle pattern and glitter in them. The top is another henley top. There is a story. They were all on sale, so I bought five in different colors: red, grey, white, blue, and black. :) Hey, if it fits, buy it in every color! :) This is the blue one with the grey tanktop underneath. The skirt I got at Goodwill two weeks ago. It is American Eagle and has little blue and white cherries all over it. It is simply addorable and is really soft. I was just around the house today, so I just threw my hair up in a messy bun. I have on my prayer box earings and a cross necklace.

WIFD Day 4

2009-02-26T19:08:00.002-06:00

Oops! I am so sorry! I forgot to post this one yesturday. I just copyed it form what I posted on the WIFD blog so here is what I wrote yesturday.

Well, today you can see how tall I am: as tall as our fridge. :) I'm in our kitchen. I was cutting a pineapple for dinner. Today I air dryed my hair, resulting in a slightly wavy mop. This is what my hair really looks like. The top is a long-sleeved collared shirt from American Eagle that I got at Goodwill. The skirt is the same ol' one I keep using. :) Like Allison, I wear this one a lot cause it matches a bunch of stuff. The belt I got at Walmart on clearance for a dollar. It's the same one I wore on Sunday evening. My cowboy boots are pne of my favorite pairs of shoes. I got them at a thrift store in our area for a dollar. They are Laredo which my sister tells me is a nice brand. I have my spoon ring, my prayerbox earings, and a cross necklace on. I just pinned back my bangs today. I have church tonight so I wanted to be very comfortable and still look cute. Time for dinner!

WIFD Day 5

2009-02-26T19:03:00.005-06:00

This picture (top) was taken after a long day, so forgive me if I look a little frazzled! :)On Thursdays, some homeschool families and mine get together and have a co-op day. My mom started it all with a few other families and it has really grown. We have a dress code: the "ROCK" shirt and anything you want on the bottom as long as it's modest. In this picture I had already come home and taken my shirt off. ROCK stands for:

Raising Our Children for the Kingdom

Anyways, I have on a grey tank top and a white henley shirt (opposite of Monday!). The henley is from Walmart ($3) and the tank top is from Goodwill. The skirt is the same ol' jean one. :) The grey jacket I got from Walmart for $10 at Christmas. I love it. I even sleep in t sometimes. It's really warm and soft without being too bulky. The socks I have on are fleece and pale pink. The lady I borrowed the scrubs from on Sunday gave them to me because she thought they were too thick. I say you can never have too thick a pair of socks! Today was surprisingly warm and mild, but windy so I stayed just right in this w/out a coat, although my legs were a little chilly! I had a friend spend thenight from church (she goes to the co-op) and this morning she french braided my hair. I have on the same ol' prayerbox earings, spoonring and a cross necklace. Below is our ROCK shirt. It's just a plain old navy t-shirt. I has the verse Psalms 19:14 on the back. The picture abpve was taken in our dining room. My mom sells scripture to put on walls (very basic description) and Acts 2:46b is on the wall behind me.

WIFD-Day 3

2009-02-24T18:19:00.005-06:00

Tuesday is probably my favorite day. I have piano lessons and Bible Study, so I wanted to look cute and still be comfortable. Today my entire outfit, minus the shoes, is from Goodwill. The skirt is a white muslin from Old Navy. This is my favorite skirt because it is all "twirly" and makes me feel like a little girl again. :) The grey tank top is just Walmart brand and the blue cardigan is Target brand. The Cardigan still had the original tags on it. I got it for $3.49, and it was originally $17.99. A steal! :) The shoes (below) I got from Ross for seven bucks. I love them! They are little leather ballet flats and they fit very close. I did my hair the same as yesturday, but instead I pinned my bangs straight back rather than to the side. You can't really see them, but I have on a pair of turquoise earings that my Grandmother got at an Indian reservation out west when she was young. They are some of my favorite pieces of jewelry, and some of the only things I have of her now (she died when I was two). I also have on a spoon ring I got for Christmas from my sister-in-law. By the way, no it is not warmer. I had to wear a coat over everything, but I like looking cute! :)

WIFD Day 2

2009-02-23T15:26:00.001-06:00

I look a lot different when I have my hair down. I blow dryed it today just pinned my bangs over to the side. The top is a henley top from Walmart that I got for $3 after Christmas. The tank top underneath I got at Target for five. The blue jean shirt is the same from yesturday evening. On my legs at the bottom are my leg warmers. :) I love these. They really do keep your legs warm, and I need them since my parents keep the house cold all the time! Earlier I had on a hoodie too, but I took it off for the picture.The necklace is a circle that says "laughter" on it. My friend gave it to me for Christmas last year. She said that it was the best desription fo me, and it is true. I really do love to laugh. The earings are the same from last night too: small prayer boxes that don't open. :( Since I'm just around the house today, I wanted to be comfortable.

WIFD

2009-02-22T20:42:00.005-06:00

Okay people, This starts off the official Week In Feminine Dress. On the http://therebelution.com , this was a topic in the girls forum. A bunch of girls I met there and Allison and I are dressing femininly for an entire week. So today is day one. Here we go:

This first one is what I wore to church today. The skirt is a black knit flared skirt I got from Ross several years ago. It is nice and long and keeps my legs warm in the weird TN winter weather. On top is a white button-down collared shirt that is a hand-me-down from my younger sister. Yes, I said younger. :) The grey cardigan I got from Goodwill. I believe it is Ann Taylor Loft. The scarf I also got from Goodwill for $1.50. I told you I was a bargain shopper! I just twirled it up and wore it like a man's cravat, but I really like the finished look of it. You can't see it in this pic, but the earings I am wearing, I made myself wiht some cool white/clear spotted glass beads. I just pulled my hair up into a bun and pinned back my bangs.

This is a really weird pic, but it was all that we could do. After church, around 4:30, we have a big potluck/Bible study with about five other families. it is realy fun. But since we play games and stuff, I wanted to be a bit more comfotable. The blue jean skirt I got from Goodwill about two years ago. The belt is brown leather and beaten metal. The top is a mauv-y purple color and is a tunic shirt. I tucked it in because it looked funny untucked. I swapped my bead earings for little prayerbox ones that unfortunatly don't open. :( I wore little brown suede clip ons for my shoes. I pulled my bun out and put it in a ponytail instead.

So for today, I did well. When it got cold at our friends house (at the potluck) and everyone was playing flashlight tag outside in the dark, I asked our hostess (who is close to my size) for some pants to wear UNDER my skirt. So I wore a pair of her scrub for the rest of the evening and was quite warm! :)

Okay, so some fo you are probably thinking, "What about yourr day in prayer? When are you going to tell us about that?" Well, my Allison and I took pics, but I have to get them from her first. Until I have them, I think you can wait for the Prayer Day installment. Patience is a virtue!

Sorry for the poor quality of the pics. My camera is better but it eats batteries like crazy! So I used my parents camcorder. It works fine, but the lighting isn't the greatest. Oh well. Enjoy, and God bless!

Prayer

2009-02-17T20:34:00.004-06:00

Please pray for me and my friend Allison on Saturday. This link will give you the info.
http://bail-o-dhia.blogspot.com/2009/02/please-pray.html

Tagged

2009-02-15T15:16:00.003-06:00

Okay, so Sam tagged me. Here goes:

1.What is your favorite color? Coral
2.What is your favorite place to shop? Goodwill, Target, and Walmart. I'm a bargain shopper. :)
3.What is your junk food? Cape Cod kettle cooked potatoe chips
4.What is your favorite thing to do in the summer? picnics and visiting family
5.What is your favorite dog breed? Scottish Deerhounds
6.What is your favorite flower? orchids, calla lilies, lilies, geraniums
7.What is your favorite hairstyle? When my hair was long: down and wavy. Now, up out of my face
8.What is your favorite thing to wear around the house? comfy sweater and "twirly" skirt and moca-socks
9. favorite thing to do with your family? play games or make dinner together
10.Who is your best friend? Allison and Danielle
11.What is one of your fav Bible verses? Jeremiah 1:6-8
12.What are your fav shoes? my cowboy boots, potatoe shoes, "garter" shoes, and turquiose ballet slippers

I tag Danielle, Allison, and Jessica

2009-02-14T16:04:00.003-06:00

Happy Valentines Day everyone!

More pics

2009-02-12T15:34:00.005-06:00

Well, I dug through some sources and I finally found some pictures from Yule Fest back in December. Here you go.

This is Me with a group of my re-enacting friends down at Mansker's. From left to right:

Jordan, Rebecca, Sarah, Sammantha, Jessica, Josh, Mrs. Joy, Me, Janessa, and Natalie. My dress was caught up on something and so it looks funny here. ;)

This is the Bowen house, which is right next to Mansker's. They are a site together. Ms. Laura is shown here in the dining/parlor of the house. It is surprisingly well lit for just candles.

And this is me dancing with the visitors and friends. I am in the orange dress and my partner is my friend Gerald.

Weird weather

2009-02-11T14:46:00.004-06:00

Here are some pictures I took this afternoon. It was very windy and it rained sideways. Our trash can was knocked over into the street. Janessa wanted to go and play in the rain, but she got mad when she had to do her hair again. :) The funny thing is now, it is absolutely beautiful outside. This morning the news was proclaiming hail and t-storm warnings and possible tornadoes. Oh, well. It feels great now!

Too much to do...

2009-02-10T12:14:00.005-06:00

Goodness! It's been a while since I posted last. The pic above is from the Father/Daughter Banquet that was held at our church last Friday night. It was wonderful and we had so much fun. It was Asian themed and we ate with chopsticks! I love being able togo on these dates with my Daddy; it makes me feel so special and pampered. I spent the entire day with my hair in sponge rollers and ended up with a mass of curls (that you can't really see in this picture; good thing too! :)). I wore a dress with white and red flowers and topped it off wiht a big black sash and black jewelry. The dress twirled a lot and I felt like princess. (In case you were wondering, Janae likes things that twirl alot)

Another thing that has happened: I have added a "twitter" gadget to the right. If I don't have post up, check the twitter. It's a way to blog with very little, such as when I'm short on time. Iv'e added a list of quotes, and trust me, it will be getting longer. I hope to be posting more regularly in a few weeks once I get my scheduel re-organized. Until then, enjoy the twittering and occansional posts. Au revior!

Stank....

2009-02-03T16:48:00.001-06:00

The Steelers won the Super Bowl....again. Farkletush.

That's My King!

2009-02-02T15:45:00.002-06:00

Scratch That

2009-01-29T21:11:00.006-06:00

Okay, scratch the whole polonaise thing. Maybe I'll get around to it someday, but now I am making a BEAUTIFUL regency gown in the rust colored linen. If you have seen the Pride and Prejudice with Keira Knightley, it's the dress she wears when they dine with Mr. Collins, and when she goes to Pemberly to meet Georgiana. I can't wait! I love these "princess" dresses.

New Pics

2009-01-27T15:56:00.009-06:00

This is me and some friends at a site called Mansker's Station. This is the one we re-enact at the most. This is in October, early in the morning, and we have our wraps on as it was very chilly. Form left to right we are: my sister Janessa, my friend Allison (the photographer), my friend Samantha, and Me. I am not smiling very much in this picture, because Iwas trying to hide my braces. Now, though, I have given up on that since they will be off in March anyways.

This is my family, (minus my two older brothers who don't re-enact) at an event called Red River. We run a resturaunt there and the tent behind us is it. From left to right we are: Janessa, My mother, My dad, and Me.

This in the Spring of 08. From left to right it is: my friend Kelsie, Janessa, Allison, and Me. This is in the doorway of the main block house at Mansker's Station.

This is me and Allison. It was in Septmeber, and remarkably hot, so I had taken off my stockings(Shame, Shame!!). But Allison, being the modest girl she is, kept hers on. This is in a loft of one of the cabins at Mansker's Station. I think we were handing laterns down from the loft, and when we were done, just sat and talked. My mom took this picture for us.

This is Me, with my glasses on, Allison in modern clothing, and Janessa in October. This is at Red River. This pic is my favorite.

Sorry for being gone so long. I was what you could call "fasting" fromt the internet, TV, and going to movies for a week and a half. I was actually able to get a lot done that I had been wanting to during that time. I have fabric for my polonaise now. It will be a rust colored linen with a chocolate linen stomacher. The stomacher will have crewel work in the pattern I blogged about last year. Hope to have some pics of that soon!

Giving Up

2009-01-19T11:49:00.004-06:00

In response to something Chad said last night, I am going to taking a break from the internet for two weeks. Until then, be content with what posts I already have up. :) Have a great week.

For this is love...

2009-01-13T10:00:00.005-06:00

God has called us to live a life so far above the standards of this world. A life above names on plaques and buildings. A life more honorable than Pultzer Prizes or Golden Globes. He has called us to a life of LOVE. He wants us to live a life of love, uncontrollable love. We've been called to love people. Not to Bible-bash them over the head with condemnations and admonitions. To love His people is a greater calling than we could ever imagine. That is all he asked of us. To love Him, and to love His people. I didn't say to "save" people, or to "lead them to Christ". He asked us to love them. Personally, I don't know any people I have led to Christ. But I know a lot of people who He has called me to love. By loving them, I have recieved love in return.

"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.' -Matthew 25:40

By loving God, we will want to love people. And by loving people, we are showing love t oGod by being obediant to His will. My heart has been filled with love that has been given me by the Greatest Lover. Filled so high, that it spills over into the lives of others. Love is a gift that is supposed to be given away, not horded. Spill your love over into the lives of those around you.

Something to Chew On

2009-01-09T12:51:00.006-06:00

This morning I was taking down pictures and curtains in my room since we are painting it tomorrow. My windows face the east, so the sun rises right into the room, flooding it with light. it was absolutely beautiful. Later as I was reading a book about 18th century poets, I came across this piece which I think you might find thought provoking.

It is a beauteous evening, calm and free,
The holy time is quiet as a Nun
Breathless with adoration; the broad sun
Is sinking down in its tranquility;
The gentleness of heaven broods o're the Sea:
Listen! the mighty Being is awake,
and doth with His eternal motion make
A sound like thunder--everlastingly.
-William Wordsworth