To be...

A while back I was asked what kind of woman I want to be. And frankly, I've thought about it here and there, but when I actually sat down to write it, I was surprised at how much like my mother I want to be. So here's to you Mumsie, for raising a daughter that could only wish to live in your shadow.

"I've always wanted to be an "artsy" person, and considering I've already achieved that, :P I hope to have it transferred into several aspects of my life.

I want to be the kind of wife/woman who decorates her home and her life with color, joy, and a love for all things living. I like the color green, because it represents living things. It's vibrant and clean.

I want to use it all throughout my home.

But I also want to BE green. Sorry if that's cheesy, but I see no reason with using fewer chemicals and rating organically.

I want to be healthy and fit, spontaneous and playful for my husband.

I want to cook for and with him, take long walks and have tickle fights.

I want to do little things for him all day long that brighten his day.

I want to cherish, honor, and respect him.

I want to have a big family and raise my children inter fear and admonition of the Lord.

I want them to be free to be themselves.

I want them to not have to live the way I did middle school, obsessed with what people thought of me, and whether or not I was worthy.

I want to show them what an amazing gift each if them are in the sight of the Lord and their parents.
I want to bake home made bread like mom.

I want to have a bug herb garden.

I want to have picnics in the backyard for no reason.

I want to build tents with all the quilts.

I want to let my little girls go out to eat in tutus and feather boas.

I want to make mud pies with my little boys.

I want to take then to reenactments and see then run around in breeches and petticoats.

I want to be what mom is to me: my closest confidant and biggest encourager.

I want to write stories for their bedtimes and stay up late with them drinking cocoa and reading books on Christmas.

I want to have family game nights that end with entire family pillow fights.

I want to serve, my church, my community, my world. I want to be a woman that gives, gives, and gives again.

I want to instill that passion for missions into my kids, and show them how much God loves his people.

I want to have a constantly full cookie jar.

I want music to be constantly playing. Whether I'm singing at the top of my lungs (and horribly out of tune) or someone playing an instrument.

I want dirty footprints and cotton curtains, open doors and windows, and jars full of butterflies.

I want to my children to know the Lord at a young age, and to LIVE their faith from a young age, and to not have waited to let the Lord do something in their lives until they were "older".

I might homeschool, I might not. But whatever I do, I want my kids to know their faith and to be fearless and to stand up for what they believe.

I want to the mother that all my kids' friends love and hang out at my house.

I want to be crazy in love with my husband and to wake up every morning to his face.

I want to spend time with him in the morning on the back porch, watching the sunrise, drinking my tea and digging deep in His word.

I'm an idealist, and I don't want the picket fence, but I want my country cottage and a man who lives the Lord and me, and children who follow the example of their father.

I want to love, be loved, and give love."

Well just scratch that.

I seriously stink at being consistant when it comes to blogging. *sigh*

Life has been taken over by books, driving, working at the church, and mission projects. I can't believe how much there is to do. It's like I'm running on five different tracks, and still not getting enough done.

Suffice it to say, I'm alive, I'm NOT writing (sadly), and am in over my head with the amount of stuff I've given myself to do. I'm hoping that next semester wont be so bad. But that's doubtful. Highly doubtful.

I did go on a bike ride yesterday. Which was lovely. And then, because of my lack of physical excerise in the past...year or so...my thighs felt like they were about to fall off. Which isn't pleasant. At all.

More to come soon. I hope. Pray. Wish. >_>

On poetry, and the common expression of disinterest delivered unto it.

The other day at church I was involved in a conversation about Poetry. Now, I love poetry and think it's beautiful when done right. And understandable.

However, some people don't think so. Several of my friends, [and no offense to you. don't worry, I don't say names. ;)] think poetry is impossible to understand or interpret. Or that you have to be brilliant to do so.

I beg to differ.

While some poems are very much like that. Confusing, having opposite underlying meanings, but poetry can be a wonderful expression of art. So, this week I will be posting a few of my favorites and please see if you can just enjoy the beauty of them, as they are.

Day One

When I Have Fears

by

John Keats

WHEN I have fears that I may cease to be

Before my pen has glean’d my teeming brain,

Before high piled books, in charact’ry,

Hold like rich garners the full-ripen’d grain;

When I behold, upon the night’s starr’d face,

Huge cloudy symbols of a high romance,

And think that I may never live to trace

Their shadows, with the magic hand of chance;

And when I feel, fair creature of an hour!

That I shall never look upon thee more,

Never have relish in the faery power

Of unreflecting love! - then on the shore

Of the wide world I stand alone, and think

Till Love and Fame to nothingness do sink.

On another note:

I have finished Twelfth Night, I Would Die for You, and am onto As You Like It, Radical, and Song of Roland. And still no one has joined me. *sigh* You puny non-bookworms.

WHERE IS MY BROTHER?

[I know you read this Josh!!! :P]

Thursday Tidbits

Just a few things to note.

1. Incase anyone was wondering, I got contacts this week. Apparently, the glasses aren't doing their job, which is rather a let down.

[I thought they were rather awesome, in my humble opinion.]

But as Dr. Bestwinna let me know, my right eye is 4 times worse than before. Yeah. Shocked me too. Didn't think I would get my parents' eyes so early. :P

[Love you mom and dad!]

And now I am no longer a cyclops. My left eye needs them now too. Great. Oh, and to top it all off the right one has astigmatism. Lovely. SO. I have contacts. And since I had them for a short time before, [in the right eye only, since the left one was fine two years ago] the right eye's contact fits fine, and I don't notice. The left however....oh dear. I can't seem to get used to it. I'm beginning to wonder if I have it in wrong. >_> It hurts and my eye is leaking like Niagara Falls. Which, believe me, isn't pleasant.

At all.

[See? It's red. Like MY EYE.]

But the contacts look nice on me. :D And I don't have black rims around everything anymore!

2. Numéro deux.

[That's French for Number two.]

The Rebelution tour is coming to Nashvegas! Huzzah! If you've never heard of the Rebelution, check this out:

Wanna come? Sign up here!

I'll be at the door, registering people. So..I guess if you want to see me too, sign up. :P Cause I'm such an amazing draw.

[Sarcasm, anyone?]

3. Update on my reading list.

Currently reading:

-Twelfth Night by The Lovely Shakespeare

and

-Radical by David Platt

Twelth Night is almost finished [after which, I have to write a few papers and answer questions. Good times. :D], and I'm entering the fourth chapter in Radical. Radical is slower to read, but much more challenging, mentally and spiritually. And also more rewarding.

[Twelfth Night is just fun.]

I noticed something. No one is joining me in reading even one of the books on my list.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!

I know, I know. I'm some freak who LOVES to read. Get over it. You should too. It's fun. And rewarding. And ... learn-i-ish. I love made up words. :D

But seriously. Huckleberry Finn is not hard to read. For that matter, neither is Shakespeare. Despite what your 8th grade English Class taught you years ago. You CAN love Shakespeare. Trust me. I'm not the only one who does. :P

[I'm pointing to you, you writers I know that follow my blog. You traitors of all things bookish.]

[Can you see my lovely sense of the dramatic here?]

So. GO. READ. JOIN ME. PLEASE. Do you think I enjoy explaining all of Shakespeare puns with Mumsie Dearest? I thought not.

I leave you with this. Simply cause I find it horridly ironic and it's one of my favorite verses to quote. Especially when Dad starts egging on me to study for the ACT. Again.

[Which is rather a smart thing to do, but don't tell anyone I admitted to it.

I mean, I can trust the World Wide Web, right?]

Here it is:

{But regarding anything beyond this, dear friend, go easy. There's no end to the publishing of books, and constant study wears you out so you're no good for anything else.}

-Ecclesiastes 12:12 MSG

100th post!!!! w00t!

Yup. That's right. 100 posts.

Actually, that's kinda sad considering how long I've had this blog. >_>

Anyways. Updates!

School has started in full swing this year...Oh. I don't think I've ever mentioned this. I'm

homeschooled.

Yup. And I'm a senior this year. Which means lotsa stuff to do. And because I just want to tell it to something..here's the list.

1. Senior Project at my church: helping out in the student ministry and girls ministry as well as helping out in the nursery for an hour each Sunday.
2. PE credit: Team manager for my lil sis's soccer team. This means soccer practice on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays, and games on Fridays and Saturdays. Oh me. What have I done. -_-
3. Debate and Worldview classes on Thursday.
4. Humanities class on Wednesday.
5. French II on Tuesday.
6. Babysitting on Friday nights (twice a month) and cleaning houses on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Gotta make some income somehow.
7. PLUS. I am still running the Least of These ministry at my church.

So. All that on top of other subjects (Geometry, dual enrollment for a computer class, and CLEPing out of a Biology class, and a Brit Lit cred I'm doing myself) I have to try to fit in my reading lists, re-enacting, mission trips, dancing, piano, and in general, a life. :P

Speaking of reading lists, want to see mine? Hoo boy.

Humanities:

• The Song of Roland - author unknown - medieval French literary work from 11^th century
• The Divine Comedy - Dante
• The Decameron - Giovanni Boccaccio
• Caedmon's Hymn - oldest extant Old English poem composed between 658 and 680

Worldview :

• Radical - David Platt
• I would Die for You - Brent and Deanna Higgins

Brit Lit:

• Twelth Night
• Much Ado About Nothing
• As You Like It
• All's Well That Ends Well
• The Tempest
• MacBeth
• Hamlet
• The Genlemen of Verona

All by Shakespeare. I'm studying his works as my Brit Lit cred. Luckily, I love the dear old fellow and am looking forward to this subject....unlike some of my friends. :)

Pre-College Requisite:

• No Doubt About It: The Case for Christianity - Winifried Corduan
• Mere Christianity - C.S. Lewis
• Plato: Complete Works - Plato
• Dictionary of Philosophy and Religion: Eastern and Western Thought - William L. Reese
• Politics - Aristotle
• The Law - Bastiat
• The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn - Mark Twain
• Leviathon - Thomas Hobbes
• The Crucible - Arthur Miller
• Discourse on the Origin of Inequality - Jean-Jacques Rousseau
• Wealth of Nations - Adam Smith
• Gulliver's Travels - Jonathan Swift
• The Annals of Imperial Rome - Tacitus
• War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
• Myths from Mesopotamia - anonymous
• The Oresteia - Aeschylus
• The Landmark Herodotus: The Histories - Herodotus
• The Illiad - Homer
• On the Nature of Things - Lucretius
• History of the Peloponnesian War - Thucydides
• Clouds - Aristophanes
• Oedipus Rex - Sophocles
• City of God - Augustine

I recently visited my future college (Yes, I have decided) and talked to one of the professors. After discussing it with my parents, we realized that it might be wise for me to go ahead and begin reading some of the texts that will be used in my classes. Those are listed above. Yes, I realize that the majority of these are hardcore intense reading. And it has started to look quite imposing, but I'm up for the challenge.

Speaking of college, and deciding college for that matter, I've chosen:

The College at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary.

Yeah..long name. But it's an amazing school and has everything I could ever hope for in a college. I'll be doing a double major of Christian Studies and English with a possible minor in History, before continuing on for my Masters in Divinity. Yup. Big plan. It'll be six years, but I excited, frankly.

So that's the reason for all the books. I think I'm going to put some sort of counter on the side bar keeping track. Hm. Good thought. Then all you guys can keep up with my success (or failure) of reading that monster list. :P Anyone want to join me on some of them? I'd love to have people to discuss it with. *hinthint* ;)

Now. Back to school work.

Monday, Monday, Monday.....(said with a deep voice that rumbles)

So yes, I have a long post comin' your way today, cause it's Monday. :D Which happens to include pics. Huzzah!

1. KA trip.

Which was awesome. Here's some stuff from it.

Me, trying to get some last minute editing done! I like this pic. It's funny and cute. And my hair looks awesome. :P In case you were wondering, yes I cut it. Again. I can't help it! I love it short!

Lunch on Saturday, I have the grey hat on. Oh, how I miss you guys!

Some of us goofing of as Pirates vs. Ninjas. XD I was a Pirate!

Samii, StoryGirl and me! *Sorry SG! I forgot your name! Eyi!

2. A new book.

Yup. And you have to buy it. It's just too amazing. Here's a vid on what it's all about.

This book has changed my life, and I'm only in the third chapter. Here's a tid bit for ya.

It's easy for American Christians to forget how jesus said his followers would actually live, what thier new lifestyle would actually look like. They would, he said, leave behind security, money, convenience, even family for him. They would abandon everything for the sake of the gospel. They would take up their crosses daily....

But who do you know that lives like that? Do you?

3. Discussion

Last night Mom, Dad, Janessa and I had some powerful discussion on what we (as a family) believe as Baptists. It was challenging, encouraging, and heartening to be fed the truth. Time after time, we pulled out our copies of God's Word and checked what we believe to what we know the Bible says. How amazing is it to know that God has an answer to everything? Whether or not he decides to make it known to us...

Here's a bit that was especially powerful for me.

God knew what he was doing from the very beginning. He decided from the outset to shape the lives of those who love him along the same lines as the life of his Son. The Son stands first in the line of humanity he restored. We see the original and intended shape of our lives there in him. After God made that decision of what his children should be like, he followed it up by calling people by name. After he called them by name, he set them on a solid basis with himself. And then, after getting them established, he stayed with them to the end, gloriously completing what he had begun.

Romans 8:28-30

I don't know how to keep going on miscellaneous things today. Today is just too thoughtful to fill with random musings. Last night's talk left too big an imprint on me to be spouting off about Sharpies and shopping sprees....and after that video..I don't know if I want to. God has a bigger calling on our lives than the best deals at the grocery store. Are we responding to it? And I leave you with this. A video that did more than change my life...it's changed my future.

Changes, changes...

Some of you may have noticed the changes on my blog. Well, a lot is happening to do so.

1. If you want to keep up with my re-enactments, go to it's own specialized page, newly made for your convenience!
2. I am a writer, so my blog might be a little more literary minded this school year. Including my study of Shakespeare's works for my Brit Lit cred. :D
3. The new name. Don't worry, the url is still the same. But I've come to a realization this summer. God has equipped me with a talent for words, and I intend to use it to tell stories of grace, hope, forgiveness, and sacrifice. Some times that means I have to dip into the real world for examples of sin, despair, cruelty, and deprivation. Understand that this is real writing. Not some fairy tale. Not a lovey-dovey story that makes you feel good and your innards warm. As a friend of mine once said, "I want to be God's frying pan and go around whacking heads. People have got to wake up." Wake up indeed.
4. Pictures.....ah yes. Those lovely things. Weeel, the laptop crashed, so posting pictures is difficult now and editing them is near impossible. I'm working on that. ;) Re-enactments are hard to come by in the summer (when it's 99 degrees for a week straight). But trips aren't! :D And I have plenty of those coming.
5. Sewing Projects!!!! I have yet to update that page (or develop it for that matter. ;) ) I have several projects done, and finished, that I would love to post and talk about! Check out that page soon for some awesome stitching!

To keep you all up to date, here's a look at what this year is bringing:

• NC trip (#3 of this year) and trip to Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary in Wake Forest, NC.
• Several re-enactments. Including the Fall Encampment, Red River, Yule Fest, Daniel Smith Days, and possibly Fort Loudon, which I am especially excited about.
• The usual Thanksgiving Trip to NC.
• A "talked of" Christmas trip to....Texas? O_o

And in addition to:

• School!
• Novel deadline (August 15th at midnight)
• New novel!
• Graduation! O_O There's a shocker for ya. ;)

Some updates on my life:

1. The Kansas trip went great and I had a blast! Learned so much from the people there and can't wait to go back next year.
2. Contacts?
3. A new impersonation for re-enacting. Drumroll please!!! : It's a young widow. Hoohoo! There's gonna be some fun with that. :D
4. This is a little more serious. I have felt God leading me into the mission field after (and during) college. For quite a while he has placed the people of Europe on my heart, where religion there is a culture, not a relationship with God Almighty. Please pray for me as I find out what God has planned for my life and prepare for His calling.

So, anyways. Lotsa going on. And more to come. ;) (Don't worry, patience isn't a virtue I possess either. XD )

Miscellany Monday

I found this amazing blog the other day.

Actually, I take that back. I've been following it for weeks and absolutely love it!

So I decided to link up and do their Miscellany Mondays for fun. Who knows? Maybe I'll get more followers. ;)

So here we go.

1. Have I ever mentioned how awesome my dad is? Well he is.

Saturday evening, I was bored (how in the world I have no idea, since I had a good book to read, a book to write and plenty of friends to chat with) and wanted to see the movie, Prince of Persia. So did Ness. And Mumsie. But they were seeing it on Monday (today) with some friends. Who aren't my age. Bummer. Daddy was exhausted from work and decided to see it Monday.

Well, typical me, I had a pity party for myself (yes, the good 'ol fashioned Janae pity party). I wanted a date THAT night with Daddy and at NIGHT. Not during the day like everyone else on Monday. Why? Cause it doesn't seem like a date, that's why! I got over it eventurally.

But guess what? Daddy surprised me today. Instead of going with everyone else, he's taking me to the showing at 9:35 pm. A Date. At Night.

Isn't he awesome? I love you Daddy.

2. I have to find raisins. I promised my friend Jared I'd make him oatmeal raisin cookies (seriously) in return for reading one of his novels early. And we don't have raisins. Kroger here I come.

3. My lavender plant finally has roots! YES! I've been working on a cutting of it and the poor thing would not root! Well, today I was commenting on how pitiful it looked and low and behold, there was a root. Herb garden, thou shalt be complete!

4. Sweet Tea is the nectar of the gods. I'm dead serious. I live off of that stuff. I think I went through a gallon and a half today. And no, I wasn't doing anything strenuous to deserve so much liquid. I was reading.

What!? It makes me thirsty!

5. Happy Memorial Day. Even with my extensive vocabulary and penchant for words (yes, yes I know, please don't applaud), nothing I could say could sum it up quite as perfectly for me as the song they sang in church yesterday.

"...this is the land of the Free, because of the Brave..."

Yum Yum

Down in the dumps? Here's a recipe for a quiet, happier afternoon.

Snack:

1/2 cup of unflavored yogurt

1/4 cup of Cascadian Farms Honey and Oats Granola

1/4 cup of Ocean Spray Pomegranate Craisins

Mix together and Enjoy! I like mine with a warm mug of Celestial's Green Tea with Honey and Ginseng.

Grab a good book and some of Myleene Klass's music and your good to go!

Books, don't ya love 'em?

*Sighs* Oh how I love books. If you were to come to my house and meet me, you would be sure of this fact. And some of you have, and are. To me, to read is to breathe. There is no difference. Life without books wouldn't be life at all.
Arnold Lobel said,
"Books to the ceiling,
Books to the sky,
My pile of books is a mile high.
How I love them! How I need them!
I'll have a long beard by the time I read them."

And Charles Elliot,
"Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counsellors, and the most patient of teachers."

So why this random post on books, you ask? Well, I am reading a lot currently, and I have recieved a new book today.

#1. Crazy Love by Francis Chan http://crazylovebook.com/

This book is and most likely will change my view on how God's love is, has, and will be demonstated to his people.

This is one must read. Check out it's back cover:

"GOD IS LOVE.

Have you ever wondered if we're missing it? It's crazy, if you think about it. The God of the universe--The Creater of nitrogen and pine needles, galaxies and E-minor--loves us with a radical, unconditional, self-sacrificing love. And what is our typical response? We go to church, sing songs, and try not to cuss. Whether you've verbalized it yet or not...we all know something's wrong.

Does something deep inside your heart long to break free from the status quo? Are you hungry for an authentic faith that addresses the problems of our world with tangible, even radical solutins? God is calling you to a passionate love reationship with Himself. Because the answer to religious complacency isn't in working harder at a list of do's and don'ts--it's falling in love with God. And once you encounter His love, you will never be the same.

Because when you're wildly in love with someone, it changes everything."

#2. The Life Book by The Gideon's International https://www.thelifebook.com/index.php

There are 17.5 million high school students in the U.S. Studies say that only 4% of students are Bible-believing Christians, that means over 16 million high school students are missing God's gift of grace in Jesus Christ. Do you wish you could have a greater impact on the next generation? Getting involved with The Life Book Project allows you to help Christian students all over the U.S. saturate their schools with God's Word as they give The Life Book to their friends and classmates. How can you be involved? Go to the above link, or view, download, send a free copy of The Life Book here: https://www.thelifebook.com/get-the-lifebook.php

The life book is for students to hand out in their schools, organizations, sports clubs, and oher places where they can develope a relationship with those they give the book too. Find out more info at the website.

#3. By the Sword by Richard Cohen

Well, after the above two, I feel kinda out of place talking about this one. It's a boo about the history of swords. And it is entirely fascinating. Never had I known there was so much to a long piece of steel. Cohen tells his tale in a quirky, narritive way that captures and keeps hold of your attention. I picked this up becuase I needed to know about swords for my story, but I didn't plan on getting a history lesson. This book will definately inhabit my shelves for a long time after.

Anyways, hope you enjoyed this little book critique and gave you some interesting books to pick up soon. More to come from Fall Retreat soon, and Red River pics, and Dancing pics on their way this week!